Island Girl Read Online Free PDF Page B

wanted it or not. Mostly I wanted it. Like mother like daughter again. Once Mark was gone, Ruby’s libido became legend across the Island. I honestly don’t remember a time when there wasn’t a man in my mother’s life. Young, old, even someone else’s, it didn’t matter to Ruby as long as she was getting what she wanted. The way I see it, I’m just carrying on a family tradition.
    “What do you say?” Mark asked, his voice soft—not pleading, but close. “Will you come to the meeting? The church is just around the corner. I can pick you up after you talk to Ruby.”
    I should go, if only to humor him, but there’s been enough coffee and donuts in my life lately. And I doubt I’d be popular at AA. Hi my name is Liz. I drink and I’m happy, so leave me the fuck alone. Better to let Mark keep thinking better of me.
    “As tempted as I am,” I said. “I’m really not dressed for the occasion. Maybe next time, but for now keep your wallet handy because the waitress is coming back.”
    Sure enough, she set a grilled cheese sandwich in front of Ruby and another in the spot across from her. For me, no doubt because any minute now I was going to break down and go inside. Admit I’d been a horrible daughter and accept her goddamn grilled cheese offering.
    “She hasn’t changed at all,” I told Mark, and turned my back on her. Watched another streetcar rumble past and wanted nothing more than to be on it. Heading west toward the Duck and a Car Bomb and anything else anybody wanted to buy for me. Except the waiter. I think his name is Grant or Greg or maybe it’s Steve. At any rate, he’s around my age, he’s okay to look at, and we both know he’d take me home if I let him. But I won’t because he’s a nice guy.
    He’ll think he can help me, change me, even fall in love and want to marry me, and I won’t be able to say no. I can never say no, and I refuse to show up at the pawn shop with wedding ring number three. The last thing I need is a customer appreciation card from Fast Eddie’s.
    I was surprised to see Mr. Lau coming out of the Donut King again, motioning me to come back this minute. I gave him the finger. “Fuck you, Mr. Lau. And your day-old crullers.” I turned my back on him too. “I just lost my job,” I told Mark. “And you owe me twenty bucks.”
    “I’m on my way. Stay there and keep an eye on your mother. What’s she doing now?”
    I pressed closer to the glass, cupped my fingers around my eyes. “Dipping her sandwich into the ketchup. Dabbing her mouth with the napkin. I’d forgotten how prissy she can be.”
    “Liz, I’ll give you a hundred dollars if you go in and sit with her.”
    Now he was playing dirty. “I’m hanging up.”
    “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m almost there. Don’t leave, all right?”
    My mother put her napkin down and turned her head. Looked straight into my eyes, I swear. I couldn’t move, couldn’t think. Just stood there. Face pressed to the window. Unable to turn away. Waiting for God knew what while my heart beat too hard, too fast.
    She went back to her tea and suddenly I was walking, getting as far as the Donut King and then heading back to Fran’s. Making my way to the King again and then turning around. I did it twice more before I finally parked myself outside Fran’s once and for all and put my back to that bloody window. Perhaps I couldn’t leave, but I’d be damned if I’d go inside. Let her come to me if it was that important.
    I jumped when the door beside me opened. Two men stepped through. The door closed. Ruby was still at her table. Had I really expected anything else?
    “Liz? What’s going on?” Mark asked.
    “Nothing,” I said into the phone. “But you know what I hate most about this? I hate the way people think Alzheimer’s grants a person immunity. A kind of moral ‘get out of jail free’ card, relieving them of all responsibility for the mess they’ve created.”
    “Your mother isn’t relieved of the mess.