Is It Just Me?: Or is it Nuts Out There? Read Online Free PDF

5
    Did you care?
    If yes, score 1
    If no, score 5
    Would it piss you off if they did it to you?
    If yes, score 2
    If no, score 5
    Total score: ______
    Tally your score and write it in on the Master Score Sheet at the back of this book, page 195.

Chapter 11
No Condom? No Way
    Unless you’re looking to get pregnant, let’s talk about common sense.
    This behavior is not about etiquette. It’s about life-death behavior.
    Unless you’re looking to get pregnant, or you’re looking to catch whatever somebody might have caught that you don’t know about—“Put the condom on” should be the first thing out of your mouth. This is not a conversation. There is no debate. If you do not want to get pregnant, the man needs to wear a condom, it’s that simple.
    Or you don’t need to have sex.
    It’s not a maybe I should , or maybe I shouldn’t . It’s very simple. There are things out there that can kill you. If you have this partner and you don’t know anything about him, don’t do him unless he is wearing a condom, period.
    Duh!
    And I don’t see why it’s hard to say, “Stop. I need the condom because I don’t want to raise your kids.”
    And guys, don’t be an ass. You should not only wear the condom—invest in the company!
    DO NOT make your partner feel bad for asking you to wear it again and again. Or hear you whine that it doesn’t feel natural, blah-blah-blah. Both of you say, “OK. We’ll find another kind.” But you’re wearing one. Period.
    Not wearing one makes no sense to me.
    The condom should be part of the ritual. Learn how to put one on him. But you cannot go bare skin to bare skin anymore.
    The world has changed. Period. Period, period, period. And I don’t care whether you’re concerned that your daughter’s going to have sex if you start talking to her about using condoms. She may have sex, but you need to help her protect herself.
    Have the conversation.

Chapter 12
If You Don’t Want to Hear the Answer, Don’t Ask the Question
    Everybody knows nobody likes to be criticized. Because sometimes, depending on who’s doing it, it feels like an attack.
    But the only thing worse than getting criticized is someone asking for your opinion about something and they give you hell . . . and you end up with your head handed to you. Now that’s bad manners. And bad behavior.
    People say they want your honest opinion. But do they? Or do they just want to hear the good stuff?
    There was a great article recently by a screenwriter named Josh Olson. It ran in the Village Voice . The man was absolutely right. It was called “No I Won’t Read Your Fucking Script.” Brilliant!
    It was an opinion piece about how aspiring screenwriters ask him to read their sample scripts and get his comments. Josh Olson is a respected professional. And the man knows his craft. Anyway, this article he wrote is sort of an open letter to the amateur writers out there who are always trying to get someone’s critique. These folks usually hit you up at cocktail parties, or when you’re leaving the restaurant . . . or the hospital. Or when you are trying to forget about work for an hour. Here’s just a taste of what he wrote in the Voice :
. . . I simply have no interest in reading your fucking screenplay. None whatsoever. If that seems unfair, I’ll make you a deal.
In return for you not asking me to read your fucking script, I will not ask you to wash my fucking car, or take my fucking picture, or represent me in fucking court, or take out my fucking gall bladder, or whatever the fuck it is that you do for a living.
    And that’s just the beginning.
    The point he makes is that it’s pretty much a no-win situation to give somebody advice about anything they have created or performed. People ask me to read scripts all the time, and I just don’t do it. I won’t do it.
    But why, Whoop . . . ?
    Here’s why.
    Bo-Be-Boo sends me a script to read, and I read it, and I say, “No, it’s not for me.” Now. Say someone has the