many,â and she says âI do too, but not always so carefully, for Iâve a lot to do for school to earn future college money you wonât be able to give, and letâs face it, Daddy, you sometimes say the same thing in them or fairly close or repeat yourself in different ways where it becomes too repeatinglike and sort of boring if I can sayâafter a while thereâs not a lot to write about in prison, which I long ago figured out but I guess is what this place is supposed to be forâto make you wish you didnât do what you did to get yourself in here and to make you also want to jump back into the non-crimelike world once you get out where you can have something new to do and talk about and for gosh sake never to go back in again because of all the sameness and bad food and sleeping and no privacy and your horrible toilets and all the TVs on around you and dumb conversations and no summer vacations as youâve joked a hundred times and that music the other prisoners play that you hate and Iâm sure no women and even some fear of the other men,â and he says âTrue, although it could be I havenât told you everything, though none of what I didnât say would make me want to stay, but I also call you whenever I can and am able to afford it and you can call me at the prescribed hours when you like too but unfortunately not collect, they donât have that advantage here either, or even from your momâs phone, why not?âI handed all we had and owned over to her without a gripe when we split up, not that there was much, I admit, or that I regret a single nickel of it, though a little house with a big mortgage is still something if a few yearsâ interest on it have been paid off and the market hasnât dropped, so maybe the least she could do for both of usâand then if it makes you feel better it should make her too, right?âis let you call me from her phone now and then, or just tell her to tally all the calls you make to me and their costâwhy didnât I think of this a thousand years ago?âand when I get out and really working, or even with the little dough I make a day here, Iâll pay her back with regular bank interest whatever that now is, but anyway, none of those I realize are the same as my being there for you on the outside when you need me and it never can be turned around to be made good, but what else did you want to tell me?âyou said there was something,â and she says âYouâre not going to like this,â and he says âJust say, nothing about yourself can make me angry,â and she says âSad, though, thatâs what Iâm afraid,â and he says âIf youâre sick, but I mean on your last leg or just very bad, then that of course,â and she says âSoon as I graduate in June Iâm going to Seattle or some West Coast place where young people go, to look for work and room with girls Iâll get from the ads and hopefully get residency status there so I can go to college cheap, so to be honest Iâll be coming here even less than I have and today can easily be the last time for a while, Iâm sorry, Daddy,â and he says âWell, that wasnât too bad, Iâm already recovering because I know itâs what you want and should be good for you if itâs safe, and also, since Iâm out of here in less than two years, it wonât be too long a stretch between seeing you if you donât come again but tell me where you are. Now as for what you both said not to do with those guys who killed Julie, long as weâre talking straight, going after them so one-mindedly and blindly you can say, I shouldnât have if only because it broke up what could have been considered a fairly good marriage till then, though just losing Julie could have done that, everything because of it thrown out of whack, but it also separated me from you and then permanently