Insurrections Read Online Free PDF

weeks. A hundred and fifty. All this tension throbbing at my throat, Walter. One fifty-five, one seventy-five. The other dude topped off at two fifty and, Walter, I’m at three fifty and thoughtthat was it. No one bid for a while. In the last minutes someone bid four seventy-five and I hit back with five fifty. And then someone hit back and I hit back. When it all ended and I realized I’d won, everything was silent all around me and I heard my office chair creaking. And I’m sweating and grinning like a dumbass fool. All very exhilarating, right? Then I got the sudden awareness that I was on the hook for twelve hundred and fifty big ones that I didn’t have.
    Walter sat on the couch, leaning forward, his head in his hands. Man, Rashid, I seen some reckless things, but damn. If you were married to my daughter—
    I’m not that reckless. I thought about the change jars I kept. Sometimes I could get like a hundred and fifty out of there, but they were empty. Then I remembered that Ricca had just dumped all of that into Luce’s college fund.
    Oh, God, Rashid.
    God had nothing to do with any of this. Nothing. He’s no help to me. So, yeah, I looted that college fund. Ain’t tell Ricca shit about that. It’s in my name, therefore it’s my money. Went into our shared savings. Shared checking. Cleaned that shit out. I don’t know how we’re paying rent next month. Then there’s our retirement fund. Thing is down to twenty-eight dollars and it’s got a thirty-five-dollar maintenance fee every month. You know what I got for my troubles? A used, holey costume that smells like someone pulled it out the rankest dumpster in America. I bit my nails and waited two whole weeks to find out the world is a fucked-up place. Ad said it was brand new. Never worn. Look at me. This look like something that’s never been worn? The thing came to the door after the damn party had started. I took that box to the back room quick, quick, quick.
    Rashid’s words became caught on the cracking of his voice, and tears poured down his cheeks.
    Man, Walter, he said. I screamed and Ricca came in and I screamed again and she was like, There are twelve kids out there. I told her I spent a G, much more than a G—I don’t want to even tell you how much—on a smelly maggot-covered Cookie Monster corpse. She was pissed, Walter. Ain’t even mention the money; that’s how I know she’s pissed. I’m gonna hear about it later. Gonna have to tell her we have to start all over with Luce’s college fund, with everything. She just looked at me with these dead eyes. Wasn’t no more love in those things. She said, Rashid,get a grip. There are twelve kids out there trying to eat cookies and have a good time. Don’t be a jerk. We’ll deal with everything else later. She stormed out and I thought about it and was like, She’s right. So I put on the costume and walked out singing about how C was for Cookie and you know what, all twelve of those kids started crying and the adults started coughing and waving their hands and one little girl grabbed her mother and said, Mommy, the Cookie Monster stinks. That’s when I took off the head and ran out and came down here to you.
    Walter breathed deeply, taking the garbage smell into his lungs, and then he sat silently with his eyes closed, hoping when he opened them there would be no absurdity, no insanity inside his apartment. Where was Laura when he needed a firm but patient hand? Walter opened his eyes and there was the Cookie Monster with the head of a man and a stench that grated at his throat.
    God, Rashid, that’s quite something, he said. I’m not sure—You young people. There are going to be rocks in your way and rocks on your backs. You’re a man, you can’t approach this like a baby would. It won’t get any easier, Rashid. Not a lick easier. It’s gonna be like this forever. Shit,