Instructions for a Heatwave Read Online Free PDF Page B

can joke them out of the standoff. He decides to opt for the latter. Quicker and less risky.
    “Gobble, gobble,” he says, pretending to eat Vita’s stomach. “I’m a monster and I’m going to eat you up.” He hoists her into a chair. “I’m so hungry that unless you eat your food I’m going to have to eat you. You’re only safe if you’re eating.”
    Vita laughs but—magically—stays on her chair. He holds his breath until he sees her pick up her fork.
    “What kind of a monster, Daddy?”
    “A big one.”
    “A hairy one?” she shrieks.
    “Yes. Very hairy. Green hair all over.” And because she’s yet to take a bite, he takes the fork gently from her grasp and inserts some food into her mouth as she is saying, “Have you got big teeth?”
    “Enormous. The biggest teeth you’ve ever seen.”
    “The shark,” Hughie suddenly announces, “has several rows of—”
    “And claws?” Vita says, spraying masticated pellets of spaghetti onto the table.
    “I was speaking!” Hughie yells. “I was speaking! Daddy, she interrupted me.”
    “Vita, don’t interrupt. Wait for a gap. Yes, I have claws. Go on, Hughie, what does a shark have?”
    “It has several rows of teeth that—”
    “Do you live in a cave?”
    “She did it again!” Hughie is shaking with rage. “Daddy!”
    Claire chooses this moment to enter the kitchen. She has changed, he notices, into a skirt and a rather thin blouse, knotted at the waist.
    “Hello, darlings,” she says. “Are you enjoying your tea?”
    “You’re going out?” he says.
    Her eyes are roving over the surfaces, the shelves, the floor. “Has anyone seen my—”
    “Mummy, Vita interrupted me twice,” Hughie says, turning in his seat towards his mother.
    Claire runs her hand along the cupboard top, stops, takes a step towards the back door, then stops again. “I’m sorry to hear that but you just interrupted me.”
    “Where are you going?”
    “I didn’t interrupt you.”
    “You did. Just now. You need to wait for a gap.”
    “You never told me you were going out.”
    She focuses on him briefly. “I did. We’re watching an OU program together and then having supper back here afterwards. I told you yesterday, remember? Did you happen to see my …” She seems to give up on the idea of asking for his help. “Oh, never mind.”
    “Your what?”
    “Nothing.”
    “No, tell me.”
    “Daddy.” Vita lays a hand sticky with tomato sauce on his sleeve. “Do you have two eyes or lots of eyes?”
    “Nothing,” Claire says. “Doesn’t matter.” She picks up a cloth bag he’s never seen before from the floor and he catches the briefest glimpse down the front of her blouse, the lace fringe of her bra, the twin mounds of her breasts. It occurs to him that others might do the same, at this study group or whatever she said it was. “I’m off.” She kisses each of the children on the hair. “I’m saying night-night now, sweethearts, because I may not be back until after you’re asleep—”
    “What time are you coming back?” he asks.
    “Two eyes, Daddy, or lots of eyes? Lots of eyes in funny places, like on your arms or on your ears?”
    “Who’s going to put me to bed?” Hughie says, in his neglected-orphan voice.
    “Later.” Claire waves a hand in the air. “Not sure.”
    “Or on your feet? Eyes on your feet would be useful, wouldn’t they, because—”
    “What about my bath? Who’ll give me a bath?”
    “Daddy, of course.” Claire gives Hughie a quick squeeze. “But you can’t have a bath anyway because of the water ban. Remember?”
    “What time, roughly? You must know.”
    “I don’t. I might stay on or—”
    “Or on your hands. Then you could see the thing you want to pick up, you could see it as you pick it up, a small human to eat, maybe, or a—”
    As Claire exits the door, Hughie is handing him a triangle of toast.
    “ ’Bye, darlings,” Claire calls from the hall.
    “I can’t eat this,” Hughie is saying.