Insomnia Read Online Free PDF Page B

mean to scare you.” I kept my voice soft and level to show sincerity, then extended my hand to her, hoping the little hothead would accept my apology.
    She seemed slightly mollified, took a deep breath, and glanced back at her pickup again before sticking her small hand into mine. When she finally relaxed and all the little angry lines on her forehead went away, I noticed a bruise and a few scratches near her temple.
    “Oh, hey, are you okay?” A wave of guilt swept me and I reached a hand toward her face, but she flinched away from my fingertips. Her body language shifted so fast it nearly made me dizzy.
    “No, that’s a few days old. I’m fine. Anyway, I’ve got to go.” Megan stumbled back around my car, but stopped when she got to her door. “Pay a little more attention, okay?”
    “I will. Are you sure you’re all right?” Something in her expression made me uneasy.
    With a dismissive wave, she climbed into the truck and was gone before I could even get my car started.
    I groaned and hit my head against my headrest a few times. I’d managed to do it again. No matter how I tried to avoid making eye contact with strangers right before going to sleep, it was impossible sometimes. At least Megan seemed fairly normal and about my age, instead of some creepy old man.
    I drove down the last three blocks of cookie-cutter houses in a state of paranoid awareness. By the time I pulled into the driveway of our blue-brick split-level, every blink grated on my dry eyes. For a few minutes I sat alone in the cool stillness of our garage. Our house felt like a tomb, or maybe it was just like me—a dark life with a silent death waiting in the wings. Maybe it would be better to embrace it now. Give up and face what was coming on my own terms, by my own choice.
    I shook my head and climbed out of the car. No matter how good it sounded, how much easier it seemed than this never-ending fight my life had become, it still wasn’t what I wanted. There was so much more out there that I hadn’t done yet. I wasn’t ready to give up. I was just running out of options.
    The kitchen was dark and silent. I could see a white note sitting on the dark green countertop like a small boat in a vast sea, but I didn’t even glance at it. I already knew what it would say; I could find the leftovers without a note telling me how. I wasn’t that hungry anyway.
    Pain stabbed behind my eyes, as if I’d bruised the spot where they connected to my brain. I knew Dad used to get migraines. He always blamed it on fumes from the lab at the university—the hazardous life of a chemistry professor. I wondered if his headaches felt like this.
    Sometimes I wondered if he might’ve been a Watcher too, but since he ditched us a month before I became a Watcher myself, I’d never know. He probably wasn’t, but I wished I’d gotten a chance to talk to him about it. I could always talk to him, about anything. You’re supposed to be able to talk to dads about crazy stuff—but they’re not supposed to walk out the door and never come back.
    Crash, that was my plan. If I hurried, I might be able to catch a couple hours of nothingness before Megan went to bed and I joined her dream. Dr. Brown didn’t exactly give me a time frame for this whole sleep deprivation/dying thing, but if I was brutally honest, I knew I didn’t have much time left. My body couldn’t take this much longer.
    The quiet dimness of my room eased the throbbing in my head. The curtains were super heavy and dark gray, so even during the daytime, if you turned off the lights and closed the curtains, it was pretty dark. At night, you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face—total blackness.
    I collapsed on the bed. Who knew how much longer I could survive this way? It could be a year, but I doubted it—more likely less. Would I have time to explain, or at least say goodbye, to the people I cared about? How would my mom handle it? Or Finn and Addie?
    I rolled over on my side and