Infected: Lesser Evils Read Online Free PDF Page B

rules are firmly established going in.”
    “No, that’s not what relationships are supposed to be. Honestly Holden, the idea is kind of pathetic. This guy can’t date without money being involved?”
    “No. All he got was gold diggers after his money. He figured if he paid me and worked out a payment schedule in advance, it would be the most honest relationship he’s ever had. And to be honest, to get those good-looking boys, he’d have to have money. He’s not ugly, but he’s plain, and about forty pounds overweight, with the muscle tone of a blanket. At least he’s aware of his limitations.”
    Roan just glared at him. He was at least half serious, and that was a half too much. “You can do better. You don’t have to keep selling yourself.”
    “Maybe not, but it’d be easier.”
    “Since when do you take the easy way?”
    That made him smile, but it was bittersweet, sad, and almost mocking. “Haven’t you been paying attention, Roan? The easy way is the only way I take.” He put the ice pack down on his coffee table and sat forward, shoulders rounded with exhaustion. “I had some Tylenol Three left over from my last dentist visit, and now I’m thinking I shouldn’t have combined them with gin.”
    “How many did you take?”
    “Two.”
    “How much gin?”
    “Also two, at the bar.”
    Roan shook his head. “You should be fine. You’ll sleep like a log for about ten hours, but you’ll be fine.”
    He nodded. “Sleep sounds good.” He stood up, but hesitated. “Umm… I don’t mean this in any other way, okay? I just mean what I ask.”
    “Okay,” Roan agreed hesitantly. Did anything good ever get prefaced that way?
    He seemed unnaturally embarrassed, rubbing his own arms as if suddenly cold, looking in Roan’s direction but not at him. “Would you, um, would you stay with me? I mean, just until I fall asleep. I don’t really feel like being alone right now, but when I’m unconscious, I won’t care.”
    So here was where Holden’s shame laid—in human weakness. Anything that made him seem less like the self-sufficient hardass he liked to present himself as (and oh, didn’t that sound familiar). He nodded, and said, “Sure.” To make the mood slightly less awkward, Roan added, “I’ve always wanted to look through your CD collection.”
    Holden rolled his eyes. “CDs? Shit, you should go to bed, old man. Who has CDs anymore?”
    “Don’t you mock your elders. I’ll club you with my walker.”
    “Yeah yeah, don’t break a hip.” He went back toward his bedroom, but he stopped at the doorway and gave him a look that was surprisingly kind and almost grateful. “Thanks.” There was something in his look that suggested he wouldn’t have minded if Roan had joined him, but he pretended not to see it.
    “It’s not a problem.” And it wasn’t. He owed Holden a lot, but it wasn’t something they talked about. It was an almost impossible conversation to start: Thank you for not killing me when I was a lion, thanks for not freaking out, thanks for making sure I didn’t kill you too . Besides, there was almost no good place that could go.
    Roan sat in the relative quiet of Holden’s still surprisingly neat living room, and wondered for the millionth time how his life had got so fucked up, and where you went to request a do-over.

4
    Eyes Spliced Open
     
    R OAN wondered if he had fallen asleep before Holden did.
    Holden had just gone back to his bedroom when Roan stared up at his ceiling and yawned, wondering if the upstairs neighbor really was rollerblading (that’s what it sounded like), and it seemed like no time at all had passed when he suddenly woke up in the chair where he had dozed off. Holy shit—he’d taken too many pills. He checked his watch, and was relieved to see he’d lost only an hour.
    He ventured into Holden’s bedroom, to make sure he was asleep. He was, lying on his side (good—it wasn’t likely he’d vomit in his sleep, but still, it was a good