In the Middle of All This Read Online Free PDF

Elizabeth’s full name, then glanced at her. “You’re expected.” She waved her on with a steely pen.
    Along the hall and in the elevator, she found herself trying not to breathe, as if it were hospitals that made you sick in the first place. Richard held her hand and studied the number of each floor lighting one at a time. She made herself breathe normally.
    In the blank office sat Sparks, rising as they entered, a smile sliding onto her face, her hair styled back around each pale ear, a faint luster in each cheek. She’d been cycling in Italy on holiday. Spread before her were the fresh bone scan and stapled pages of lab printouts.
    â€œWas it good?” asked Elizabeth, fumbling with her own Britishy inflection.
    Sparks looked at her oddly.
    â€œThe holiday.”
    â€œDelightful.” She grinned reluctantly. “Rather nice. It was good to get the air, and the scenery was fine.”
    â€œWas it Tuscany?” Richard asked politely.
    She nodded, smiled.
    â€œWe’ve been once,” he said.
    â€œI know.”
    It was rude to ask directly after the results; Elizabeth couldn’t help peering at the shiny opaque sheet. Against the white table it was quite black.
    â€œSo how are you feeling?”
    She blushed, caught in her curiosity. “Great,” she said. “I haven’t felt this good in years. Running, bicycling. Trips to the health club. Meditation. And my tinctures and vits. I feel quite good.”
    â€œThat’s wonderful.” Sparks let the corners of her mouth upturn ever so slightly, and nodded. “I really think you’re doing wonderfully, too.” She held up the bone scan. “No change, for better or for worse; that’s another month of stability. Quite good. And all the blood work is up. You’re doing fine.”
    Beside her, Richard admitted a breath, and reached over and squeezed her hand.
    â€œSo I guess we should talk about options,” Elizabeth said.
    â€œAlternatives?”
    She’d preempted Sparks again. “Yes.”
    â€œWell, I was thinking we could try some chemotherapy or increase the hormones.”
    Elizabeth felt her face falling and pushed it back into place. “I thought you said I was doing fine.”
    â€œYou’re stable,” Sparks confirmed. For the first time Elizabeth noticed she was wearing a tiny diamond stud in each ear. Must have a new beau. “The spots on the liver are stable. The spots on the spine are stable. The blood is improved. It’s still in your system, Elizabeth.”
    â€œOf course, of course. I’m not denying that. I was just thinking I was doing so well that why should I put any more toxins in my system.”
    â€œThe hormone therapy is what is working for you,” Sparks said clinically. “That’s quality of life. But to try to destroy the disease with some bold chemotherapy is really your only strategy. Of course,” she paused, “the chances are still quite small.”
    Elizabeth just looked at her, just took in the minute, glittering world of each pinhead of diamond. Understated. Subtle. Expensive.
    â€œNow that you’re strong, I think it’s your best opportunity.”
    Elizabeth shook her head.
    â€œWell, you have time. It’s not like you have to do it tomorrow.”
    â€œI was wondering,” Elizabeth said. “I was thinking about going back to work. Not the same job, of course. But, you know, pursuing something.”
    â€œWhat a good idea,” Sparks said.
    â€œWe were also thinking …” Elizabeth threw a sideways glance at Richard; his eyes were open, and he nodded. “We were thinking we might also try for an adoption.”
    Sparks looked from her to Richard and back again.
    â€œSince I’ll never be able to have children—I understand that now—and since I’m stable, we thought we might adopt a child.”
    â€œRichard?” Sparks said.
    He nodded.