nice big closet when the Scotts send me packing. It’s hard to get too excited about buying new clothes, most of which I will never get around to wearing.
I am not going to get attached to any of these clothes Mrs. Scott throws at me. Not the five pairs of jeans, including the ones that make me look like I actually have a butt. Not the hoodie with the extremely obvious, but beautiful brand name on the back of it. Not even the new winter coat the sales girl said makes me look like a smart, yet chic college student.
Though the two new padded bras will be with me forever. Now that I have found you, my pretties, we shall never separate. Show the orphan girl a Wonderbra, and suddenly life is worth living.
“Oh, my goodness!” Millie cries.
Super, she probably realized there are still some jeans left in Texas that we have yet to try on.
“It’s after three o’clock! We’ve forgotten to eat lunch!”
Forgot to eat lunch? This girl does not forget about meals, Ms. Half-a-grapefruit-for-breakfast. Lady, around noon I ate a pair of those Mary Janes you pushed on me. Of course I’m hungry! I’m a growing child! Well, except in the bra area, but I think we’ve already established my great shortcoming.
“I’m so sorry, Katie. I’ve only had you one day, and I’ve already managed to starve you. I got so caught up in all of this, I just lost track of time.”
I know she is envisioning me tattling to Mrs. Smartly. Like I would. I’m a lot of things, but I’m no snitch. Those kinds of girls get beaten up.
“Well, Mrs. Smartly doesn’t like it when I skip meals. She believes my nutritional health is directly proportional to my mental, physical, and emotional development.” I have no idea what I just said, but I know it was on a test I took in health class last year.
I fling open the dressing room door, and Millie Scott is before me, surrounded by a sea of bags and packages, wringing her hands.
“I had no idea it was so late. We’ll leave right now and go get something to eat. Anything you want. You name it.” Millie looks so distraught I can’t help but try and use it to my advantage.
“I wondered why I was feeling so faint this last hour. Food would be very nice, ma’am.”
“Anything.”
“And dessert.”
“You got it.”
“Appetizers too?” I’m reeling her in.
“Of course.”
“And a strawberry virgin daiquiri with a little pink umbrella floating in it?”
Millie Scott’s brow furrows. Too much? But if I don’t get at least a hot fudge sundae out of this, I’m going to be thoroughly put out. I tried on everything ever hung on a rack! I deserve chocolate!
As I strike a pathetic pose, I realize I have never addressed Mrs. Scott by her name aloud. What do I call her? Millie? Mrs. Scott? Woman Who Is Not My Mother?
“You must be starving. What was I thinking?”
I’m thinking you’ve sniffed one too many perfume samples in those fashion magazines.
Millie continues her nervous chatter, putting a supporting hand under my arm, which is quite a feat given all the packages she is carrying. She leads me out the door, and we make our way to the exit.
Where the blinding light of day nearly brings me to my knees.
Oh, sun, I forgot you existed. I have been in a cave we mortals like to call a shopping mall, and I have missed you.
Remembering my new sunglasses with the cool pink rhinestones, I slip them on, and my vision is restored. I dutifully follow behind the Queen of MasterCard and Visa.
It takes me, Mrs. Scott, and two strangers who were dumb enough to stop and help thirty minutes to pack the car and get every bag in. I told Mrs. Scott if we needed to sacrifice any of the purchases due to lack of room, that the underwear could go since I liked to go au natural anyway.
So far Miss Millie just does not appreciate my jokes.
Five minutes later we are parked at a restaurant. At least I assume we’re at a restaurant. All I can see in front of me is a solid wall of packages and boxes.
Heidi Hunter, Bad Boy Team