In a Moon Smile Read Online Free PDF

honest men. She talked about deciding when they were mature enough to have sex.
    “Don’t you have to take all your clothes off for sex stuff?” Chesney had whispered to Ruth Anne.
    When she heard the question, Ruth Anne rolled across her blue bedspread, laughing hysterically. “Are you kidding?” Ruth Anne had shrieked. “Doesn’t your mom tell you anything about anything? Do I have to be the one to tell you about French kissing and first and second base? And tampons?”
    Nodding her head fast, Chesney felt her heartbeat quicken. She was absolutely dying to know all about every single one of those topics. But none of those questions were allowed to be asked in her home.
    A memory of herself as a sixth grade crybaby suddenly floated through Chesney’s mind. Wailing her way into the house from the bus stop, she told her mother about a traumatizing interaction with a snot-nosed boy in science class. “He said my hair felt like pubic hair,” Chesney sobbed.
    Madelyn calmly offered an oatmeal raisin cookie, sat down next to Chesney and her Brillo pad hair and shared that, when she was a child, other children called her a giraffe. When Madelyn told that story, the word giraffe sounded shaming and hurtful. Chesney forgot about her peers razzing her about the frizzy auburn curls. She knew without asking, that her mother walked even taller when other kids teased her. That’s how Madelyn was, a proud, soft spoken Statue of Liberty kind of mother. She had many perfect traits that Chesney, as her daughter, could never hope to have.
    Still staring at that maternal perfection, Chesney watched her mother’s coral-colored mouth move. Then she panicked.
    Oh lord, Madelyn is gushing about the damn guest list, the reception hall and the terribly expensive caterer.
    That’s when Chesney realized the sting of her big diamond ring. It was digging into her right cheek as she sat there, staring at her lovely mother, not even listening to the long spew about the wedding she didn’t yet know to be a total sham.
    How ironic, I am passively stabbing myself with the fancy ring Jack gave me. I’m branding my misery on my face. I am permanently tattooing my failure on my damn cheek. And I can’t seem to stop the sudden need to self-mutilate with my ring. I can’t stop smiling and nodding even though I have absolutely no idea what my mother is saying to me.
    “Well?” Madelyn drummed her perfect fingernails on the edge of the shiny end table. “Have you listened to anything I’ve said? You look like you’re daydreaming.”
    I’m not daydreaming. I’m actually planning my escape.
    Chesney offered a weak smile and her mother’s face softened. Believing she had full command of the room, Madelyn chatted about ice sculptures while Chesney wondered if the giant engagement ring was now drawing blood.
    Why don’t I care enough to move my hand? Why don’t I uncurl my legs and run like hell? Why don’t I just stab myself in the heart with Jack the ass’s giant princess-cut?
    Chesney sat up taller, cleared her throat and smiled again. She was not running away for a couple of reasons. One, no matter how ridiculous it was, she was still sometimes in denial about the fact that she would not don that gorgeous gown and float down the aisle. And second, she was hypnotized by her mother’s perfection. If there was a third point, a more truthful point, it would be that Chesney was not yet brave enough to deal with the wrath of Madelyn. She glanced at a gathering of family photos arranged on top of a table. Her eyes rested on the wedding day photo of Charlotte, the perfect bride, cheek to cheek with her perfect husband, Cooper. A newer photo was next to that of Charlotte, smiling beautifully after the birth of Piper, her perfect Gerber baby. Charlotte’s gorgeous hair was soft and honey blonde like their mother’s. Her heart-shaped, peaches-and-cream little face showed no sign of exertion even though just moments earlier, she had puffed and