In a Good Light Read Online Free PDF Page B

Christian’s eager expression stopped me.
    â€˜I’m going to ask her to marry me,’ he said, and a faint blush spread over his face.
    I must have been gaping like a netted fish because he gave my knee a squeeze and said, ‘Are you all right? You look a bit shocked.’
    â€˜Wha . . . Well,’ I stammered, as the art of speech returned by degrees. ‘I am a bit. Surprised. To tell you the truth.’ All the while I kept giving these irritating gasps of laughter. ‘I had no idea. I didn’t realise you were even keen. I obviously haven’t been paying attention.’
    â€˜There wasn’t anything to notice. We haven’t exactly been all over each other. We’ve been out together a few times while you’re at work. Most of the time we just sit in watching videos.’
    Or taking baths
, I thought. ‘Why didn’t you tell me before? How long has it been going on?’ In spite of my best intentions I’d managed to sound disapproving instead of simply intrigued.
    â€˜There was nothing to tell until now. It wasn’t love at first sight or anything. In fact, when she first came I thought she was a bit abrasive.’
    At last, some common ground!
    Christian drew his dressing gown, which was starting to gape, more tightly around him. ‘But then after a whileI found I was really looking forward to seeing her, and I realised I’d never felt that way about any of my other carers.’
    â€˜They were blokes,’ I pointed out.
    â€˜Yeah, but even so. And then that week she was off with flu – do you remember that?’ (I did: I’d done some of my best work in ages.) ‘I really missed her. I think that’s when it started to dawn on me that she might be The One.’
    â€˜But, I mean,
marriage
. You’ve only known her three months.’
    â€˜Well, three months is quite a long time in my circumstances. When someone helps you to get your pants on from day one, intimacy builds up pretty quickly.’
    â€˜Do you think she’ll say yes?’ Suddenly I found myself looking at Christian through fresh, unsisterly eyes, as a potential partner. When I was a child I had assumed he was the most handsome man on the planet, but hadn’t given the subject much thought in recent years. Of course, the wheelchair might put some people off, but in spite of it he still looked fit and strong. He worked out with weights twice a week and his upper body was broad and muscular. A stranger might have put his age at thirty-two, though he was nearly forty. His hair was still thick and showed only the first incursions of grey. He was funny and talented; he made plenty of money designing and testing computer games, without ever having to leave the house, which was spacious and tasteful and paid for. Now I could see that to someone like Elaine, he wouldn’t be an unattractive proposition.
    And then it hit me, like a snowball full in the face, what it would mean for me if Christian and Elaine did get married, and how insanely oblivious I must have been to all theirhints and signals. Elaine had been here bright and early cooking breakfast this morning because she’d just spent the night. And all the suggestions about the property ladder and the friendly careers advice were nothing but veiled warnings of my imminent eviction.
    â€˜. . . thinking of asking her on her birthday, but I’m not sure if I can wait that long,’ Christian was saying, as I tuned back in, still spitting out snow. ‘What do you think?’
    â€˜What does it matter what I think? It’s your life,’ I said, in much the same tone that Mum used to say, ‘It’s your money,’ whenever as a teenager I proposed buying some piece of trash from Miss Selfridge.
    â€˜Well, it’s your life too, and your home. I didn’t want to spring it on you as a done deal.’
    â€˜No, but . . .’
    â€˜And I