I'm Dreaming of an Undead Christmas Read Online Free PDF

for Santa. That’s commitment.”
    Iris finally relaxed enough to scoot onto the bed and sit next to me. “No, I mean a house full of people, lots of talking and music, taking special time out to watch Christmas movies and make candy. Those big holiday parties they used to throw, remember? Mom’s gardening club buddies and Dad’s coworkers. I miss it.”
    I could actually see Iris’s eyes getting all misty, which, given the pink tinge in the tears, was more than a little disturbing. While missing our parents was a key factor in my sister’s holiday funk, this year, there was the added complication of Iris being a vampire. Cal had told me that the few living relatives we had left—uncles and aunts and second cousins in distant states whom we rarely saw—hadn’t exactly cut Iris off, but they weren’t reciprocating her Christmas cards, either. They were pulling away from her, hurting her with their silent disapproval, which may have had something to do with this manic holiday extravaganza. Frankly, I wasn’t surprised by the “family’s” response. After all, these were the same people who had told Iris to call if she needed anything after our parents died but then couldn’t be bothered to help Iris with the task of raising me.
    Yeah, I was a little bitter.
    “OK, those Christmases were great,” I assured her. “But I think you’re forgetting some less stellar moments, like the year Aunt Jenna drank an entire gallon jug of zinfandel before dinner, fell off the porch, and broke her pelvis. Or when Dad got Mom a Weight Watchers membership as a gift, and she didn’t talk to him until New Year’s.”
    Iris winced. “Yeah, I had forgotten the Cold War Christmas. But those holidays were still great!”
    “Of course they were,” I agreed. “I’m just saying you should try to keep this all in perspective. There’s no such thing as a perfect holiday, especially with this bunch around. And I’m afraid that if you try to make one, you’re going to miss all of the fun and drive yourself crazy . . . er.”
    Iris’s full, rose-tinted lips quirked. “Trust me, I know I can’t make this Christmas perfect, but I can try to make it as normal and human as possible for you.”
    “It doesn’t have to be human,” I assured her. “Because most of the guests are creatures from the underworld! And it will never be normal. We’re not normal, Iris. We never have been. And I think that’s awesome. ”
    Iris laughed, leaning until her forehead bumped against mine. “Thanks, Gigi.”
    I sighed, enjoying my sister’s tension-free closeness, and simply rested against her for a long moment. “You’re going to do the full Martha Stewart thing anyway, aren’t you?”
    “I’m going to try,” Iris swore. “Besides, I have to take advantage of this opportunity while I can. I don’t know when Jane’s going to let me take over a holiday like this again. She’s a little possessive when it comes to hosting.”
    “So you’re using me as a means to loosen Jane’s choke hold on Halloween and Thanksgiving?”
    “No!” she exclaimed, before adding, “A little bit.”
    “So are we watching Mary’s Wish List this year?”
    Iris looked honestly insulted. “Of course we are. It is the most solemn of our traditions. Things have changed, but we will always find a way to indulge in schmaltzy cable-movie-of-the-week sentimentality.”
    I opened the Internet browser on my phone and searched for the broadcast time for Mary’s Wish List, a low-budget holiday movie about a woman who writes a Christmas list to a department-store Santa, but instead of asking for a pony or new shoes, she asks for big things like a new job and a nicer boyfriend. Over the course of the movie, her Christmas wishes come true but with disastrous, somehow hilarious consequences. We discovered the movie when Iris was still in high school, and it held some sort of weird charm over us that A Charlie Brown Christmas or even It’s a Wonderful Life