I'll Be Here All Week Read Online Free PDF

his glass of whiskey. He’s not a fan of hypnotists. They always pull audience members onstage and make them do silly tricks. People love them, and they always sell out because everyone wants to watch their friends act like idiots. They’re all the same, and there’s no real writing or stand-up to it. To him, it’s like watching monkeys dance.
    â€œYou can’t have a hypnotist every week,” he says to Billy.
    â€œHell.” Billy swivels around in his chair. “I would if I could. They sell out every single time.”
    Spence takes a sip of his whiskey and just nods. Strippers would sell out, too. So would midget wrestling. So would cock fighting. He wonders if Billy even likes stand-up comedy.
    â€œHere you go,” Billy says as he takes a stack of money, thumbs through it, and tosses it to him from across the desk.
    Pay day at last, Spence thinks as he picks up the stack of cash. He takes off the rubber band and counts through it. He always counts the money immediately, just in case it winds up short. And in this case, it does.
    â€œWe’re two hundred short,” he says to Billy, holding up the stack of cash.
    â€œThat’s because we canceled the Friday late show,” Billy explains, lacing his hands together and putting them behind his head as he leans back in his noisy chair.
    â€œYeah, but I get paid by the night, not by the show.”
    â€œNot according to our paperwork,” Billy says. “No show, no pay. We cleared that deal with your boy a couple of months ago.”
    Spence takes a deep breath, then leans back in his chair and polishes off the rest of the whiskey in his glass. Thankfully, it’s way more than just a shot.
    Fuck you, Rodney, he thinks.
    â€œAlright,” he says. There’s no point in arguing if Rodney is the one who screwed up, but this really throws a monkey wrench in his plans. Two hundred less bucks means he’s not going to get his hair highlighted and the outlet mall will have to wait another month. It also means he’ll likely eat off the dollar menu at McDonald’s the rest of the week. He runs through the numbers in his head for a few seconds and manages to budget out his travel expenses. He figures he can squeak by for the week. But he’s not happy. He wants to fly to New York and punch Rodney in the face.
    â€œThere’s one more thing.” Billy hands him a long piece of cash register tape across the desk. “This is your bar tab.”
    â€œWhoa,” Spence says to Billy as he takes the bill. “I thought drinks were free.”
    â€œBeer is free,” Billy says, “but you drank whiskey all weekend.”
    Spence looks at the bill and wants to cut his own throat with it. “I thought you said you were going to take care of me,” he says.
    â€œAnd you thought that meant I was going to let you drink for free?”
    â€œSomething like that, yeah.”
    â€œNaw,” Billy scoffs. “I meant that I was going to make sure you got everything you wanted.”
    â€œGreat,” Spence says. He feels his shoulders slump as he goes over his budget one more time in his head. He wonders if Billy would respect him less for curling up into fetal position right there on the floor. Instead, he counts out the money for his drinks and lays it on the desk.
    Billy flicks his Zippo lighter open and shut and looks around for a pack of cigarettes lost somewhere in the clutter on his desk. “Tell you what, I’ll buy you one for the road. How’s that?”
    Kiss my ass, Spence thinks.
    â€œThanks,” he says.
    â€œDon’t forget to pay the bartender for your burger on the way out, okay?”
    â€œDamn,” Spence says, “is there anything I get for free?”
    â€œYeah,” Billy says. “The hotel.”
    Some perk, Spence thinks. The hotel is always free . That’s the only part of the contract Rodney always gets right.
    He stands up and