If You Believe in Me Read Online Free PDF

ridiculous-looking stuffed swan dressed in battle fatigues and bought it for a dollar. Kale would have found it hilarious.
    Would have…
    The cold air crystallized in her lungs. She hadn’t just thought that. He will find it hilarious, she corrected furiously. She would not let the people in this town, with all their well-meant fatalism, weaken her convictions.
    And she would not burst into tears standing here alone in the dark. She glanced down to gauge the distance to the first step, but before she lifted a foot, a voice hit her out of the darkness, making her jump.
    “Heading home?”
    She whipped around to see Danny leaning against the first turn of the handicapped ramp. He’d been there a while, judging by his crossed feet and hands shoved deep in his pockets.
    “You jerk.” Amber tried to laugh, but it sounded like she was hacking up a hairball. “I didn’t see you there.”
    “I know. Sorry.” He pushed away from the rail and crossed the porch to her. “If you don’t have your car, I’ll walk you home.”
    “Thanks.”
    They passed the first block in silence. Danny seemed fine with it, but Amber couldn’t ignore the opportunity to confront him. He’d been everywhere the last few days. At first she thought he was just being supportive at a time he knew was hard for her. But after Rina and now Rose had both indicated his feelings were stronger than that, Amber had to bring it out into the open.
    “Kale is coming home,” she said.
    “I know.” He sounded perfectly calm and comfortable with the idea.
    “I love him.”
    “I know that, too.” He took a longer stride to check the cross street, then let her catch up to him after he signaled the coast was clear. “But is the guy you love the one who’s going to come home?”
    She didn’t have to ask what he meant. “Of course he won’t be. I can’t even imagine what kinds of horrors he’s seen, what he’s done.” What had been done to him. She shoved away the thought. “But I don’t care. He’s mine.”
    Danny nodded as if he agreed. “What if you’re not his?”
    Wow. That was blunt. And Amber had no argument. Kale being dead was a possibility she had little trouble dismissing. Kale not wanting her anymore? That was a fear so big it didn’t even fit in her brain.
    When she didn’t answer, Danny didn’t press her. He let the question bounce around in her skull for another block. They turned left onto Main Street. Cars zoomed past, and a few people hustled in and out of the stores, movie theater, and restaurants that made up downtown.
    “I know the holidays are hard for you.” Danny tilted his head back and squinted at an angel perched on a streetlight. “Has it gotten better or worse this year?”
    “I don’t know.” Amber scuffed her foot. “I guess a little worse, with his parents preferring to think he’s dead.”
    “Whoa.” Danny stared down at her. “That’s the first time I ever heard you say anything negative about them.”
    Amber shrugged. She’d tried hard not to resent them but was losing the battle. Every time someone gave her a sympathetic look or mentioned grieving or, like Rose, letting go, she knew it was because they were following the Rikers’ lead.
    They turned again, onto her street with its little brick Cape Cod houses, half of them surrounded by chain link fences to keep the dogs in. She’d left the light on next to the front door, and it beckoned to her. There was warmth in that house, and coziness. And incredible loneliness.
    “Amber.” Danny stopped her halfway up the walk to her steps. “Look at me.”
    She did, reluctantly, because if he didn’t say what she expected him to, she’d have be the one to address it. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him or anyone else.
    He settled his hands on her shoulders and stared down into her eyes. His were gray-blue where Kale’s were bright blue, but they held affection, hope, concern, and maybe even love. He hadn’t worn a hat on his light brown