Ice Cold Read Online Free PDF Page B

married to a man I didn’t love. I mean, who’d want me now, with one bastard kid and another on the way?
    He agreed, said we’d get married. Didn’t want no trouble with the Youth Office or the Benefit Office. He knew about all that from a mate of his in the Party. His mate had told him getting married was the simplest thing. For him, for all of us.
    It was the Saturday three weeks after we got married he beat me for the first time. I can’t remember what for, can’t remember a thing about it. Except for the bash on the back of the neck he give me. I’d just turned my back on him. I can still remember that all right. Then he grabbed me by the throat and pressed hard.
    Seemed like for ever before he let go of me again. After that I just wanted to get away, file for divorce and that. But the way he sat there, his face in his hands, telling me how sorry he was – well, I had to think of the children, poor little things, they needed their father, after all, and I stayed. I stayed against my better judgement, wouldn’t listen to the voice inside me.

Interrogation of Josef Kalteis, continued
    – My wife Walburga, she comes from the same place as what I do, she’s from Aubing too. Her old man is with Reich Railways, same as me.
    – When exactly did I get to know her? Can’t rightly remember no more. She was in the same class as my sister at school, she lived in our neighbourhood.
    – One evening, I was at an inn, having a drink after work. So on my way home I see this girl in front of me. I kind of felt I knew her, so I walked a bit faster, wanted to see who it was. When I’d caught up with her I saw it was Walburga. I thought to myself, where’s she off to, then?
    – Yes, I was curious. So I went on following her. When I saw she was crying I spoke to her. I hate to see a woman crying. Never could abide it.
    – Anything wrong, I asked her, what was the matter? She told me to leave her alone. But she didn’t try to shake me off, I just went on beside her. Well, I says to myself, you can’t let the girl alone now, not crying like that. So then she told me about it, it was love troubles. How she’d been walking out with a man and she’d quarrelled with him that day. He was forever blowing hot and cold. That’s why she was crying.
    – I went on walking with her for a while because I felt sorry for her.
    – I told her men aren’t all the same, there’s lots of good fish in the sea. That made her laugh, because her granny was always telling her the same.
    – Then I saw her again a few weeks later, out bathing.
    – I recognized her at once, and seeing she was all alone again I sat down with her. And we talked all afternoon.
    – I took her home, she didn’t live far from me anyway. And we made a date for next Sunday.
Or maybe it was the Saturday, can’t remember now.
    – We went out into the woods with our bikes.
    – Then we went for a walk. After a while we stopped for a rest, and she sat down beside me. Sitting on the grass. I offered her one of my cigarettes, and we smoked.
    – Yes, we talked. We was sitting there and, well, she was the one began necking.
    – But I never did get much out of just necking. So I, well, played about with her. She got wilder and wilder. I had an idea she liked it, honest, so I just went on.
    – She didn’t say nothing to stop me. Nor when I’d took her knickers off. She wound her legs around me. Wound them around me good and tight. And she said ooh, that felt so good. She started moaning. Well, kind of moaning and groaning. And she held me tighter with her legs. She was mad for it. Walburga was a real goer. Oh yes, a goer. I’d never been with a girl like that before. I enjoyed it. Honest, I enjoyed it.
    – After that it was a few weeks before I saw her again.
    – Not till she came to see me and said she’d fallen for a baby, then I saw her again.
    – So we married when she was up the spout again. Last day of December, 31 December 1937.
    – I asked around. I