I Was Here All Along Read Online Free PDF Page B

breaking down or freaking out.
     
    Rio nods approvingly, and it makes me way happier than it should.  “Right now you’re Ember Snowe, and Ember is very beautiful and very strong.  But train with me, and I’ll turn you into December Snowe.  You’ll be a fitter, healthier, more confident version of yourself, and you will be a knock out.  You’ll have men eating out of your hand.”
     
    “I just want to be a size four,” I say, thinking of my sister’s dress. “I know it’s a long shot, but that’s my goal.”
     
    “Why is that a long shot?” he asks, and before I can answer he says, “You see that woman over there?”  He points to someone who’s tan, cut and probably 0% body fat tearing it up on a weight machine.  Her level of fitness seems completely unattainable, and I feel depressed again. 
     
    “I think you’re losing me here Rio, you might want to go another direction with the pep talk.”
     
    “This isn’t a pep talk, December. You listen to me.”  He puts his hands on my shoulders, his face inches from mine as looks me directly in the eyes.  “There’s only one difference between you and her, understand?  It’s up here.”  He touches my temple.  “She wasn’t born physically superior to you.  She has a different attitude—that’s the only difference.  And it makes a big difference, doesn’t it?  So you change this.”  He touches my temple again, sending a frission of energy through me.  “And you change all this.”  He gives me a quick, clinical look up and down, then meets my eyes again.  “You got it?”
     
    His closeness, intensity and belief in me are overpowering, so it’s all I can do to hold his gaze and nod my head.
     
    “Good.”  He smiles.  “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
     

Chapter 9
     
    Truth or Dare
     
    Sex with Brian had been familiar, comforting and tender.  It was usually a lights off affair, with him on top and me on the bottom, and at the end he’d kiss me on the nose and tell me he loved me.  On Valentine’s Day, he’d always give me a silk nightie that showed off my best asset, my large breasts.  I would wear it for about two minutes before turning off the lights and stripping it off, and that’s about as wild as we got.
     
    But now that Rio sent my hormones into overdrive—and I’d been without regular sex for the first time in years—I wanted to get my freak on.  I didn’t even know what that meant, but I wanted to find out.
     
    To educate myself, I looked at some internet porn, and then imagined Rio and I doing the exact same things.  Him pinning my arms behind my back and taking me doggystyle.  Or planting his head between my thighs and licking me slowly, gently easing his fingers inside me and sliding them in and out.  Or plunging his tongue in my mouth and shooting his hot white essence all over my stomach. 
     
    I’m not going to lie.  I spend the afternoon going at myself like a horny teenage boy, and I’m about to go another round when the front door swings open.  I’m on the couch and fortunately, my nether regions are hidden under a blanket.  I quickly pull my hand up and put it in full view just in time.  My sister comes in the door and drops a small duffel bag by the door, looking at me strangely.
     
    “It smells weird in here,” she says. “Bad, like something died.  Of leprosy, and then spent a week rotting in the sun.”
     
    For a minute I’m paranoid that while exercising my self love, I released some kind of crotch funk I wasn’t aware I had.   Then I realize it’s the lingering stench of the microwave tempeh chili that I picked up at the health food store on my way home from the gym.  It tasted even worse than it smelled, so I dumped it in the trash and ate a monster salad instead.
     
    “Whose are these?” April asks, picking up my running shoes.
     
    “Mine—I joined a gym today.  I got a personal trainer, and I’m keeping a food journal.”
     
    “Oh my God,