How to Get Ahead in Television Read Online Free PDF Page B

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    The corridor in the basement was too narrow for us to walk three abreast, so I trotted along behind, struggling to keep up with their conversation. I resolved to be more thorough in my television watching; I evidently needed to do my homework and take note of who was producing what. It wouldn’t be enough to just watch TV for fun any more.
    The basement studio was set up for a quiz show. There was a makeshift presenter’s desk and two mismatched podiums borrowed from old quiz show sets. Magnus Jerome was seated behind the presenter’s desk, a scarily intelligent political heavyweight who hosted late-night shows for the BBC on boring things like Syria and stamp duty.
    There were two middle-aged men standing behind the podiums on either side of Magnus. A crew of cameramen and production team milled about the studio, poised to begin. I suddenly felt a bit overwhelmed that we’d walked into such an elaborate set-up. JR hadn’t mentioned anything about cameras, or a presenter with formidably scary eyebrows.
    â€˜Right, I found some more recruits,’ JR announced to the room. ‘Rhidian, why don’t you join Arnold’s team, Pam, you join Chris’s team.’
    He pointed to the two men standing behind the podiums and I identified Chris, wearing a big ‘Chris’ badge, waving at me.
    â€˜Um, it’s Poppy,’ I quietly corrected him, but it was too late, he’d already stalked off to talk to Magnus.
    Jude, an assistant producer I recognized, ran over to me. She was a tall, waif-like brunette who looked as though she should have been on camera rather than working behind it. Jude handed me a name badge on which she’d hurriedly scrawled ‘Pam’.
    â€˜I’m sorry, it’s actually Poppy, not Pam,’ I told her.
    â€˜Oh, well, I don’t have any more of these self-adhesive badges… Do you mind just being Pam?’ Jude asked.
    â€˜Sure,’ I shrugged, not wanting to make a fuss.
    I looked over at Rhidian, who silently mouthed ‘Pam’ at me. He stretched his arms out against the podium as though limbering up for a marathon.
    â€˜So Pam and Chris will play Rhidian and Arnold. It’s pretty self-explanatory; basically, you have to win control of the board,’ JR said, indicating a flip-chart behind Magnus, ‘which will obviously be a bit more high-tech than this in the real thing. We hope. You never know with BBC budgets.’
    There were a few knowing laughs from the production team.
    â€˜Once you have control of a topic you get five related questions, which only your teammate will get a go at. For every one you get wrong, your opponents will get a point. It’s all about predicting which subjects your teammate might be good at.’
    Rhidian, Arnold and Chris were all nodding.
    â€˜Don’t worry, Pam, you’ll pick it up once we get going,’ JR said to me.
    Someone dimmed the lights and the production team all sat down to watch and take notes. Magnus started reading from his cue cards in that distinctive booming voice of his.
    â€˜Good evening, and welcome to What Do They Know? , the new game show for BBC2 that isn’t all about you! Now, most people know if they can answer a question or not, but this game isn’t just about knowing the answers yourself, it’s about predicting what your teammate knows. Let’s meet the teams.’
    Magnus walked over to Rhidian and Arnold’s podium.
    â€˜Hello, Rhidian, hello, Arnold. So how do you two know each other?’
    â€˜We play bridge together,’ Rhidian improvised.
    Magnus launched into a conversation about whether their knowledge of each other’s bridge-playing techniques was going to help them win the game.
    â€˜What shall we say?’ Chris whispered to me, the smell of cheese and onion crisps lingering in the air as he spoke. I noticed he had very dry skin, that type of flaky red eczema that looks raw and