How to Be a Vampire Read Online Free PDF Page B

do. But do you
     promise to do it?”
    Andrew nodded. He was desperate.
    â€œOkay,” T.J. said. “The first thing you have to do is
     get a coffin.”

8

    â€œA re you crazy?” Andrew cried.
     “Get a coffin?”
    T.J. nodded. “You have to. Vampires sleep in coffins.”
    â€œBut why? I mean, what would happen if I
     didn’t?”
    â€œVampires can’t really rest unless they sleep in a
     coffin,” T.J. said.
    â€œOkay, so I don’t get a good night’s sleep.”
     Andrew shrugged. “Big deal. I’d rather toss and turn all night in my own bed
     than sleep in a coffin.”
    T.J. shook his head. “You might be okay for a few nights. But a
     vampire has to sleep in a coffin. It’s one of the rules.”
    Andrew sighed. “Yeah, I’ll probably read all about it tomorrow
     in Chapter Three.”
    â€œAnd not an empty coffin either,” T.J.
     added.
    â€œWhat do you mean?” Andrew asked.
    â€œIt has to have some of your native soil in it,” T.J.
     said.
    â€œNative soil?” Andrew’s eyebrows arched up. “Soil?
     Like dirt? Like dirt out of my own backyard?”
    â€œExactly,” T.J. agreed. “Face it, Andrew. Sooner or
     later you have to get a coffin.”
    â€œOh, great,” Andrew groaned. “So how do I get a coffin?
     Go to Fear Street Cemetery and dig one up?”
    â€œHey, yeah!” T.J. exclaimed. Then he frowned. “But how
     would you get rid of the body that’s already in it?”
    â€œB-b-body?” Andrew managed to get out. “I don’t
     want a coffin that’s had a body in it! If I have to sleep in a coffin, I want a
     new one!”
    â€œA new one . . .” T.J. repeated. Then he raced
     for the door.
    Andrew threw himself down on his bed. Why was this happening to him? Only
     this morning he’d been a normal kid. He’d been worried about finding his
     sneakers. Now he was some kind of a freak. Now he had to worry about finding a
     coffin!
    T.J. rushed back into Andrew’s room, flipping through the Yellow
     Pages. “ ‘Clowns,’ ” he said.
     “ ‘Coffee. Coins.’ ” He stopped. “No coffins.
     Hmmm. I’ll try ‘Funeral Homes.’ Hey, great! They’ve got ten
     listings for funeral homes.” T.J. picked up the phone.
    Andrew couldn’t stand to listen to T.J. askingabout a coffin. A coffin for him! He went down to the kitchen. When he came back
     with a bag of chips, T.J. was frowning.
    â€œWhat?” said Andrew. “They don’t sell
     coffins?”
    â€œOh, they sell them.” T.J. reached for a chip. “And you
     can have a not-too-fancy one for only twelve hundred dollars.”
    Andrew handed T.J. the bag of chips. His appetite was gone.
    T.J. thought while he ate. “For tonight,” he said, “find
     a coffin substitute.”
    â€œLike what?” Andrew asked.
    â€œA big box. A drawer. A closet.” T.J. finished the chips and
     tossed the empty bag into the wastebasket. “Any small space where you can put your
     native soil.”
    * * *
    That night after dinner, Andrew went out to the backyard and dug up a
     little native soil. He felt like an idiot. But he didn’t want to break any more
     vampire rules. He put the dirt into a small plastic bag. Then he walked around his
     house, looking for something that might serve as a coffin.
    In the basement, he found a battered cardboard refrigerator box. It was
     full of old clothes. But it might work.
    Andrew pushed the box over on its side. He took out the clothes through
     one end. He tossed in his bag of native soil. Then he crawled in to try it out.
    Andrew lay there with his head at the closed end ofthe box. His feet stuck out the other end. The box smelled funny and damp. He
     didn’t think he could handle a whole night of that smell.
    â€œAndrew?”