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gangly, Texan father?
    The auspicious meeting would take place the weekend of our graduation from Pomona College. I set up a picnic brunch in the middle of a field on our campus and proceeded to chug Maalox in a vain attempt to settle my stomach.
    Zebra mussels? What zebra mussels? Friends, I tell you, it was magical. Our parents instantly loved each other, our grandparents started joking around like old buddies. That initial mutual respect and affection for each other has remained throughout Dave’s and my relationship, engagement and marriage, and looking back I’m glad I put special effort into making sure they had an enjoyable first meeting.
    And, yeah, my mom told the story about the time I peed my pants during a ballet recital. And the one about the time I sat on a nail and got an infection on my butt cheek.…and the time I tried to convince my eighth-grade English class that unicorns existed and the teacher called my parents in to make sure they weren’t crazy. But Dave’s momdidn’t even bat an eyelash. Maybe my Eddie Haskell routine hadn’t been necessary, after all.
    Now, I realize that this isn’t always the case. Some family meetings go over like a fart in church and sometimes nothing can be done about that. Still, you’re the glue bringing these two families together, so you might as well set a pleasant tone…even if you know grenades will eventually be launched.
    The same core truth will shine through—be true to who you are. Be strong in affirming your couplehood and trust your loved ones to love and trust you. It’s remarkable how smart and supportive everyone will be when they get a load of your positive attitude. And it’s incredibly easy to have a positive attitude when you’re meeting the people who created your Prince Charming.
    SUSAN
    Many relationships in life are made according to your choosing. Your daughter’s in-laws do not fall into this category. It’s a completely random pairing. There isn’t even a name for this relationship. “My child’s in-laws” is a mouthful. For the sake of brevity, let’s call them your co-in-laws.
    You simply don’t get a vote. Sure, she’s bagged Prince Charming, and you couldn’t be happier about that. But he did not sprout, fully formed, out of a petunia patch somewhere. He has People—a mom and dad, siblings, quirky uncles, aunts with good taste in reading material, uncountable cousins. And over the course of the wedding journey, you’re going to meet all or most of them.
    All I can offer is a bit of wisdom from my own wise mother: be nice and hope for the best. Advice, I might add, that applies to most of life’s moments.
    But you worry. These people are going to be in your daughter’s world for the rest of her life. You’ll soon be sharing her with them at holiday time, on vacations, get-togethers, celebrations through the years. You’re going to be co-grandparents with them.
    What if you’re incompatible? What if you don’t like them? Suppose their political views annoy you, or you disagree with their take on child-rearing or economics? Worse, what if they serve the stuffing in the bird instead of on the side? What if the only music they listen to is by Joe Pat Paterek and His International Polka Stars? What if they practice philately? Or hoard back issues of National Geographic magazine?
    Or, worst of all, what if they’re perfect? What if the dad is an esteemed lawyer and man of letters, and the mom is an eminent physician who runs marathons with her three flawless sons, practices at an HIV clinic and spends two months a year in a tiny African nation, treating indigent patients? What if the groom’s parents are brilliant, witty, attractive, kindhearted and unassuming?
    If that’s the case, then they’re my co-in-laws.
    I am not making this up. The in-laws are saving the world, and the home team…? Well, we write romances and play golf. Clearly we were going to have to step up our game.
    As it turned out, we didn’t have to do