How I Came to Sparkle Again Read Online Free PDF

if he had an epiphany about intimacy and his feelings for her. Immediately, she realized that was stupid girl thinking.
    She got out of bed, descended the stairs, and approached the door. Slowly she began to recognize the face through her window. It was Jill. A small smile started on Lisa’s face and then turned to concern as she looked more closely. She opened the door.
    Jill smiled uncomfortably. “Hey, girl,” she said as she held up Lisa’s letter. “I just drove out of hell.”
    “You look like shit,” Lisa said tenderly, and gave her a big hug. She kept one arm around Jill and guided her in. “You came to the right place. I know just what you need.”
    Lisa guided Jill past the gutted walls, explaining, “Yeah, I kind of ran out of money before the remodel was finished. Pardon the ugly chaos.”
    Together, they walked into the kitchen. Since Jill had seen it last, Lisa had painted the ceiling turquoise and the walls yellow. A few pots of Christmas cactus with bright red buds ready to bloom sat on top of the cupboards.
    Jill sat on a stool at the counter while Lisa reached in the fridge and brought out some celery stalks, which she washed, cut, and put on a little plate in front of Jill.
    “So, what’s up, girl?” Lisa asked. She could guess; she’d never had a good feeling about David. “I mean, you’re dressed a little oddly for a trip to Colorado.”
    “I … um … lost the baby six weeks ago.”
    “Oh,” Lisa said, feeling the air leak out of her. “Oh, Jilly.” She crossed the kitchen to hug her old friend. “Oh, Jilly, I’m so, so sorry,” she said without letting go.
    “And then yesterday, I found this,” she continued, and pulled out her camera phone. Lisa looked at the display. “You remember David. I don’t know who that is.”
    Lisa studied the picture and then looked back at Jill. In an attempt to hide the full level of her disgust, she simply shook her head and put the kettle on for tea. “So what did you do?”
    “I just snuck off. I couldn’t deal with it. I couldn’t deal with explanations or apologies. That wasn’t something he could explain. That wasn’t something he could just apologize for.” Jill took another deep breath. “I’ve been thinking maybe the best thing for both of us is to just let go and let each other start a new life.”
    Lisa remembered overhearing her grandmother telling her mom that men were weak animals when it came to resisting temptation and that indiscretions must be forgiven—they were not uncommon. At the time, her mother had been sobbing. Although Lisa couldn’t remember exactly how old she was, she was old enough to vow never to sign on for that kind of suffering by getting married.
    She walked behind Jill, put her arms around her, and said, “I love you.”
    Jill put her hands on Lisa’s arms and shut her eyes. “Please help me,” she whispered. “I don’t know what to do now.”
    “Of course, Jilly Bean,” Lisa assured her, and rocked her in her arms.
    Jill opened her eyes and noticed a faded newspaper picture on the wall of the two of them, arms up, facing each other, jumping victoriously after some race their senior year, jubilant. “I can’t imagine ever feeling like that girl again,” she said, and pointed to it.
    “No,” Lisa said. “But you won’t always feel this bad, either. The good times don’t last and the bad times don’t last.”
    “You’ve been hanging out with Uncle Howard,” Jill said.
    Lisa laughed a little. “Hey, listen, I’ve got to go teach the next generation of Olympians how not to fall down. We’ll figure out your life when I get home from work. Take a nap. You need sleep. Don’t worry. It’s going to be okay.”
    Jill followed Lisa back into the living room, where she pulled out the ancient hide-a-bed and then climbed the now exposed staircase to the linen closet for bedding. They made the bed together, and Jill crawled in. Lisa kissed her on the forehead.
    “Thanks, Lisa,” Jill