House of Trent 01.5 - His for Christmas Read Online Free PDF Page B

happened. You have it all wrong.”
    She shook her head. “I know what I heard. You sounded…you sounded disgusted with me when you said those things.”
    “I was disgusted. But not with you. I was disgusted and angry with George and Fletcher.”
    He remembered the entire conversation. He’d been in a rage and a panic, trying to think of ways to scare George off from pursuing Amelia, wondering if he should demand pistols at dawn or just punch the bastard in the face and get it over with.
    Then, when Fletcher had surprised them both by saying how unappealing she was, he’d seen George’s reaction, and he’d known, to his gut, that if he agreed with Fletcher, George would leave Amelia alone.
    He had agreed to the words “cow” and “lazy” and “fat” in reference to Amelia. And she had heard him.
    Jesus. He pressed two fingers to the top of the bridge of his nose and squeezed tight.
    He’d been thinking of making George stop looking at her with lust in his eyes. That was all. He hadn’t been thinking of the real meaning behind those words, or of what would happen if gentle, kind Amelia heard them and took them to heart.
    He had been her friend. And he’d betrayed her horribly. And now, her behavior towards him made complete sense.
    His head bowed.
    “George wanted you,” he said gruffly. “From the moment you stepped foot in the house that night, he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. He told Fletcher and me to meet him in the gardens because he wanted to share his plans to seduce you. To… ruin you.” Even now, Evan couldn’t keep the bitter anger from his voice.
    “I was furious with him,” he continued in a low voice. “I didn’t want him looking at you, much less touching you. I wanted him to stay the hell away from you. I couldn’t think of how to do that. If I told him that I wanted you, that I would protect you from him, I knew from experience that that would only rouse his competitive instincts, make him more interested, more determined to have you first.”
    He reached out and braced his hands on the bed on either side of her. “I was enraged. I wasn’t thinking straight. And I did the only thing I knew without a doubt would erase that lustful look from his expression. When Fletch slandered you, I agreed with him. I pretended you were nothing to me, that you weren’t worthy. I lied to George about you because I wanted him to stop lusting after you.”
    He took a breath. “I am not proud of myself for speaking of you like that. But hell if I wouldn’t do it again to protect you, Amelia.”
    She stared at him, her eyes still glassy. And she spoke in a quiet voice. “You said that about me to protect me?”
    “Yes.”
    Her lips firmed, and she shook her head. “You wouldn’t have agreed if it didn’t contain a glimmer of truth. If it was all lies, you wouldn’t have been convincing enough. A part of you really did believe those things.”
    “No.”
    “I know a part of me believed them.”
    “You shouldn’t have believed any of it.”
    “Why not?” she challenged. “I was pudgy, Evan. I had always preferred more sedentary pursuits over active ones. And not only was there a glimmer of truth to everything you said, you said it with such complete conviction. You, the one boy I trusted. The boy I admired and thought I…thought I loved.”
    His gaze locked on hers. “You loved me?”
    “I thought I did,” she corrected. “Until I heard you saying those things about me.” Her voice lowered. “How quickly a few words can erase an emotion that one believes is a permanent resident in her heart and turn it into something dark and ugly.”
    He recalled the look on her face when she first saw him in the snow. That dislike. No, not dislike. Hatred .
    And yet, he’d brought her here and she’d allowed him to make love to her. Was that why such heavy regret washed over her features now?
    Damn. He had really made a bungle of things. All his memories of Lady Amelia for the past several