hospital.
But I donât think heâs done any running.
I think itâs true:
he really
really
really
hates hospitals.
Now I know your kryptonite, James.
Now I know if we have all our meetings at the hospital
you will forget to yell at me,
all your power lost
to fear
of beeps
and sick babies
and stinging smells.
Mrs. B.
Long blond hair,
itâs almost like a lionâs mane.
Sharp eyes.
Green one day, gray the next,
almost never blinking.
She doesnât look like a devil
but I feel like Iâve made a deal with one.
(Does that count as talking about my feelings?)
Her computer is free for me to use.
Sheâll even help me print stuff,
but only if I talk about my feelings first.
Only if we can have a dialogue first.
Yeah. A deal with the devil.
The green-eyed devil.
Take this one.
And this one.
And these.
And this. Joséâs mom is throwing piles of clothes at me.
José is in the garage working on the turtle car
with his dad.
You are so skinny, mijo .
These are all from two years ago
but I think they will fit.
A pile of clothes builds up at my feet
like a snowdrift of José, the First Generation.
Thereâs no way I can say no to these clothes.
No way Joséâs mom will let me say no.
So I gather them up,
like the ghosts of winters past,
and already, I feel warmer.
Joséâs mom took me to the hospital
and when we went into Leviâs room
Mom was asleep
Levi was asleep
it was dark and quiet
except for the
heartbeeps
and the nurse popped her head in the door
a grocery bag in her hand.
Timothy? Someone left this for you. Inside the bag:
two new toothbrushes
candy bars
bananas
nonslip socks
a magazine about movie stars
a magazine about video games
a Baby Signing Adventure book.
Who is it from? The nurse just shrugged,
smiled,
closed the door.
Levi is feeling much better!
Maybe just one more week.
If we donât jinx it.
And then heâll be home.
And Iâll be home.
No more IV tubes.
No more doctors and pokes.
No more hospital.
No more fancy home-cooked dinners.
No more José and Theresa and Sofia and Alé.
No more Isa.
How should I feel about that?
I donât know how to feel about that.
Books on the table
pencils scribbling
oomPAH oomPAH
José telling me
hurry hurry hurry up with your homework
so we can play Halo.
Yummy smells coming from the kitchen,
Isa tapping her fingers on her nose
counting syllables
or maybe integers.
Everyone busy
but no wild eyes.
Then a key in the door,
shuffling shoes.
Joséâs mom shouts something from the kitchen,
Joséâs dad loosening his tie,
dropping his briefcase.
Isa stands and hugs him
José tells about the math test and how well he did.
The oomPAHing stops and Alé flies down the stairs.
They are a crowd
even with Theresa and Sofia not at home.
They are all talking at once.
Joséâs dad acts annoyed as he tries to get
to the kitchen
but heâs smiling.
Joséâs mom steps into the dining room
wipes her hands on her apron
kisses him big on the mouth
and I am still at the table
alone
feeling suddenly itchy to not be here
in this house
but I canât be anywhere else
and Joséâs dad says over the noise,
Timothy ,and he nods at me
and I nod back
swallowing a rock in my throat
wondering why everything just got so weird.
WEEK 17
I know everything will be back to normal soon.
I am not a moron, James.
I know it will not be Joséâs house all the time.
I know it will not be Joséâs mom taking me places.
I know it will be back to business as usual.
You donât have to talk to me like Iâm an idiot.
James.
Mrs. B.
School.
Mom.
I will be back in the house arrest box.
I mean, itâs not like I really left it,
I just had little tunnels
like those tunnels hamsters get to run around in.
Those tunnels can stretch across a whole room,
even up toward the ceiling
where the little hamster runs and runs.
But in the end?
All tunnels lead right back to the cage.
So donât worry,
Benjamin Blech, Roy Doliner