head in the direction of a deathly quiet shop floor. ‘Where’s Drop Dead Fred this morning?’
Bonnie shrugged. ‘Just phoned me early and said he would be late in today so I needed to open up with my keys.’
‘Cheeky bugger. I’d have told him where to go. I bet he doesn’t pay you any overtime for being in early.’
‘Probably not. Which is exactly why he daren’t ask you to do it.’
‘Too right. I’d squish his little head like those cockroaches he had me chasing around the other day.’
Bonnie laughed and handed Linda a steaming mug. ‘That’s one match I’d pay to see.’
There was a tap at the back door.
‘That’ll be Max,’ Linda said. ‘Want to make yourself scarce so he can’t ask you out again?’
‘He hasn’t asked me out, he just mentioned a friendly drink, that’s all,’ Bonnie frowned, dragging the bolts back on the door. She opened it and Max grinned on the step. His wet hair had curled at all sorts of odd angles and his cheeks were wind-blushed, so that he looked more like a naughty schoolboy than ever.
‘Morning ladies! Who wants to finger my fine plums today?’
Linda sniggered. ‘Bonnie doesn’t want your plums, that’s for sure.’
‘Linda!’ Bonnie almost choked on her tea.
Linda winked at Bonnie. ‘That’s what you told me the other day … if Max offers me his plums once more, I’ll stick my foot in them .’
Max chuckled. ‘Now, now. Perhaps I’ll just take my plums elsewhere until you’re feeling less aggressive.’
‘Ignore her,’ Bonnie said, frowning at Linda. ‘How about a cuppa?’
Max stepped into the tiny kitchen. ‘Sounds lovely.’ He looked through to the empty shop. ‘It’s quiet in there this morning. Fred’s normally shouting and unfurling the swastika flag around now.’
Bonnie giggled. ‘I know, he just phoned me to say he’d be late in today.’
‘That’s not like him; he usually likes to check everything in.’
‘Yes,’ Linda agreed, ‘it’s not like Fred to miss an opportunity to complain he’s a potato short in his delivery.’
‘I’m glad you said that and not me,’ Max laughed taking a mug from Bonnie with a nod.
‘So what did you get up to this weekend, Max?’ Linda asked.
‘Hmmm, I went skydiving for an hour Saturday morning, that was just after I’d woken at 4.30am and run a two hour marathon, beating the Ethiopian Olympic team. Then I got back home and knocked up a loft conversion just after dinner. Sunday I was out all day hanging around Buckingham palace gardens while Liz and Phil threw some burgers on the barbie.’
‘Pretty quiet then?’ Linda grinned.
‘Yeah, I actually sat on my arse for most of it.’
‘I’d have thought you would have been out with whichever girl had taken your fancy this week.’
‘I’m not doing very well with girls who take my fancy. I might have to start settling for the bug-ugly ones soon if I’m gonna make little Maxes.’
‘Or Maxines,’ Bonnie put in as she rinsed her mug.
‘True. Though Maxines are no good for taking to footie matches.’
‘Sexist pig!’ Linda said.
‘That’s me. Do you think that’s where I’m going wrong? Maybe I’m not being sexist enough. What are the chances of me getting arrested for assault if I go down town on Saturday night and club some woman over the head, caveman style?’
‘Club me over the head caveman style and you’d never be able to use your plums again,’ Linda remarked as she took her mug over to the sink too.
‘So women don’t like that sort of thing?’ Max said innocently.
‘Bonnie threw a teacloth at him. ‘You’re mental, you are.’
‘I’m desperate, Bonnie,’ he said, pulling the cloth away from his face with a huge grin. ‘Come on, take pity on a desperate man and go out for one teensy drink with me. If you don’t have a good time, me and my plums will never bother you again.’
‘Oh, Max. I’m such a miserable cow these days you’d be begging for mercy within an