damp with sweat. He made a ball-and-socket of his hands and pressed his thumb knuckles hard against his mouth. Studying her, sealed within her armor of indifference, he wondered how to proceed. Life, it seemed, set no precedent for a situation such as thisâsitting with a belligerent woman, a veritable stranger, discussing the son you never knew existed.
âI was . . .â He had to clear his throat and start again. âI was afraid so. It doesnât take a genealogist to spot the likeness between us.â
She said nothing.
âWhy didnât you tell me?â
She rolled her eyes and said, âIsnât that obvious?â
âNo, I guess it isnât. Not to me. Why?â
She flashed him an angry glance. âBy the time I found out, you were already married to her. What good would it have done to tell you?â
âBut Iâm his father! Donât you think I should have known?â
âAnd if you had, what would you have doneâjust what?â
He replied honestly, âI donât know. But Iâm not the kind of man who would have left his care entirely up to you. Iwould have helped however I could, even if it was only financially.â
She let out a disdainful huff. âWould you? If I remember right, your fiancée was already expecting a baby when you got married. I was no more a part of your future plans than you were a part of mine. I didnât see what good would come of telling you, so I didnât.â
âBut didnât you . . . didnât you think that was deceitful?â
âOh, please . . .â She pushed back her chair and rose with reproof in the trim of her shoulders. Moving away, she stationed herself amid the boxes in the living room behind him. He pivoted on his chair seat and followed with his eyes, crooking an armpit and wrist over the chair back. âWe had already made one mistake,â she went on. âWhat good would two have done? You told me that night of your bachelor party that you were marrying her under duress, but you were marrying her nevertheless. If Iâd found you afterwards and told you I was pregnant, I might have broken up your marriage, and what purpose would that have served?â She clapped a hand to her chest. â I certainly didnât want to marry you.â
âNo,â he replied, coloring faintly. âNo, of course not.â
âWe were just . . . that night was just . . .â She shrugged and fell silent.
Just a hot-blooded June night that never should have happened. Eighteen years later they both knew it and were suffering the repercussions.
She admitted, âIt was as much my fault as yours. Maybe more, because I wasnât on any kind of birth control, and I should have insisted on you using something. But you know how you are at that ageâyou think, âOh, itâll never happen to me. Not from just one time.â And when I went there, Inever dreamed anything like that would happen. Like I said, we were both equally to blame.â
âBut you werenât the one getting married the next weekend.â
âMaybe not, but I knew you were, so which of us is more guilty?â
âMe.â He got up and followed her to the living room, where he propped his hips against a stack of cardboard boxes facing her, a goodly distance away. âIt was an act of rebellion, plain and simple. She was pregnant and I was being forced into this wedding I wasnât ready for. Hell, the ink wasnât even dry on my college diploma yet! I wanted to teach for a while, have a few years of freedom, buy a new car and rent an apartment with a swimming pool, live with the guys. Instead I was visiting gynecologists with her and trying to scrape together enough money for the rental deposit on a one-bedroom apartment. Getting outfitted for a tuxedo I didnât even want to wear, for heavenâs sake! I just . . .