Hold the Pickles Read Online Free PDF

even worse than before. I was still short and skinny and dressed in my underwear, of course. But I was also bright pink and dripping in sweat now too. I had a heat rash on my chin and waxy speckles of snot on my glasses. I’m sure Brooke would have found a newborn earthworm more attractive than me.
    Brooke knocked on the washroom door, and I actually jumped like a baby kangaroo. I even had my hands clenched in front of my chest like paws. That’s how scared I was. I knew it would be game over if Brooke saw me like this.
    â€œSorry. I’m not quite ready yet,” I said in the manliest way I could.
    She groaned in kind of a jokey way and said, “Oh, no! What’s taking you so long?”
    â€œAh…Well, let’s just say, technical difficulties.” They were snot-related technical difficulties, but she didn’t need to know that.
    â€œWell, hurry up, Frank! I really want to do this.”
    I could tell she was excited to try on the costume, but there was no way I was going to let her have it yet. The Dan Hogg fumes would have killed her. I had to disinfect it first.
    It took me a good ten minutes. I completely scrubbed down the costume with pink hand soap, then dried it off with paper towel. It was a lot of work. Wearing a costume means you have to worry about twice as many armpits as you usually do.
    Brooke knocked again. “Coming!” I said and gave Frank one more quick check. (And I’m glad I did. There was a wet noodle of snot still hanging from the mouth hole.) I positioned myself behind the door so she couldn’t see me and pushed the costume through.
    â€œOh, thank you, Frank! This is going to be so much fun! Don’t worry! I’ll be back soon!”
    â€œWhoa. Wait. Don’t forget the slippers,” I said and handed them out the door.
    â€œNo, no, that’s fine. I’ll just wear my own shoes. Here, Kelsey. Help me get this on!” I heard their footsteps fade. I peeked through the door in time to see the girls disappear into the ladies’ washroom.
    I sat in the cubicle for about five minutes feeling blissfully happy. It’s not often that a guy like me gets to make a beautiful girl’s dream come true.
    Then I sat in the cubicle for five minutes more, feeling not quite so happy. Brooke must have lost track of time, I thought. She said she’d be right back.
    Then I sat for about two minutes more, feeling downright terrified. Something wasn’t right. Brooke was gone too long. It must have been about two thirty by then.
    Two thirty!
    That’s when I remembered Hammy saying he’d be down at three o’clock with fresh samples. I started to shake. He’d paid big money for that costume. I was pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to be lending it out. What would he do if he realized I wasn’t inside it?
    I knew the answer.
    Hammy wasn’t going to be an Angry Hogg if he caught me. He’d be more like a Wild Boar. (I’d seen the nature videos. This wasn’t going to be pretty.)
    I did jumping jacks for a while to try and keep my anxiety under control, but they didn’t help. They just made me all sweaty again.
    I looked out the door at least fifteen times. Brooke had promised she wouldn’t go far, but I couldn’t see her anywhere. My imagination went crazy. Maybe she fainted from the heat. Maybe she’d gotten disoriented.
    Maybe the guy in blue had abducted her.
    I could see my heart pounding through my skinny chest. I was really scared. Brooke shouldn’t have been so relaxed about that guy. He was bad. I knew it right from the start. I should have called security like I said I was going to.
    I had to find Brooke. But how? She was somewhere in a giant arena full of people.
    And I was stuck in the men’s room in nothing but my underwear and a pair of big green slippers that supposedly looked just like pickles.

Chapter Twelve
    Sit in a washroom cubicle long enough, and a janitor is