Hold Her Heart (Words of the Heart) Read Online Free PDF

so I don’t know where I’m staying. He said we’d figure it out after I came to meet you.”
    “I’m confused,” she said. More than confused, she looked as if a stiff breeze would topple her over.
    “Do you mind if we sit down?” I asked. “I’m so nervous I can’t believe my knees aren’t knocking.”
    “I’m so sorry,” she said. “Of course.”
    She led me to an iron bench at the back of the garden. There was a patch of spikes with large leaves that had tumbled to the ground and what looked to be drying seedpods next to it.
    “What’s that?” I asked, not because of any driving need to know what that patch of plants was, but more because I wasn’t sure what to say to this woman who was a stranger and yet was so much more.
    “Milkweed. Monarch caterpillars eat it.” She looked at me for a long minute, studying me. “So, you’ve met Ned and Logan?”
    I ignored the Ned part because I wasn’t sure what to say. Instead I zeroed in on the Logan part. “I’m pretty sure meeting Logan counts as a memorable meeting. I walked in on him, half-naked and asleep. Did you know he wears smiley face boxers?”
    She laughed. “Yes, that’s memorable. And no I didn’t. But how did you come to be at Ned’s?”
    I didn’t know how to answer her. Ned must have known she’d find out he’d found me, but I still felt as if I were betraying a confidence. In the end, I didn’t need to say anything.
    “He came and told you?” she asked, but we both knew it was more of a statement.
    I nodded. “Yes. But to be fair, I could have been tested at home and simply let you think I was an anonymous donor if I were a match,” I said. “I wanted to meet you.”
    I could see the doubt in her eyes. “You’ve had years and never made the move.”
    “It’s complicated.” As I said the words, I suddenly realized the source of my conflict, because even now, sitting with Piper, I felt guilty. Even with my father’s blessing I felt as if I were somehow betraying my mother.
    I’m not sure exactly when I’d realized that was a big part of the reason I hadn’t gone looking for my birth mother, but it was a big part of it.
    The biggest part of it.
    I knew it wasn’t rational. Before she’d died, Mom and I had talked about my adoption. My hand touched my collarbone and felt the locket that I wore. My mother had given it to me along with the letter from my birth mother—from Piper. Mom had encouraged me to find her. Despite knowing all that, there it was. Guilt.
    Piper didn’t press. She simply nodded. “This isn’t how I dreamed we’d meet.”
    “How did you dream it?” I asked. There were so many things I wanted to ask her, and I was sure she had things she wanted to ask me. But here we sat on a garden bench, two strangers looking for something benign to talk about because the heavier topics might crush us under their weight of emotion.
    “I’ve dreamed meeting you so many times. I’d be sitting on the porch with Ned. We’d be talking about our day and then a car would pull up in front of the house. You’d get out, and I’d recognize you immediately. We wouldn’t say anything because we couldn’t. We’d be crying too hard for words. But we’d hug each other. I’d finally hold you again after so many years apart. The missing piece of my heart would finally be back where it belonged.”
    And that’s all it took.
    I was crying, and she was crying. And we hugged. We hugged for the longest time, this mother I’d never met but who’d loved me every minute of my entire life.
    “Amanda,” she whispered.
    And she was right, some missing piece—a piece I’d never known was missing—was back where it belonged.
    When the tears slowed, we both reluctantly let the other go. “It wasn’t your front porch, but I hope it came close.”
    She took my hand in hers and patted it. “You’re here just as I always dreamed.”
    “I have questions. So many questions that I don’t know where to start.”
    She