Courtney hung up the phone feeling even more
frustrated than before. As the minutes passed, her uneasiness grew. Why hadn't
she told the assistant that the matter was urgent? She was dialing before she
realized what she was doing, and then she was stammering her way through a lie
about how this assignment could cost her her job. Which wasn't entirely
untruthful when she thought about it.
When she hung up this time, Courtney found herself
feeling worse rather than better. She tried working, desperate to distract
herself, but every sentence she read turned into something else.
“ I'd like to take you up on that offer to fuck
your ass.”
“ Would you please strip and bend over the desk so
I can spank you.”
“ Your completely inappropriate email shows that
you have no place here at Asgard.”
“You started it,” Courtney muttered, ignoring the
glance the woman in the next cubicle gave her. “Stupid sexy abs.”
“Uh, Courtney?” Ellen Richmond was a sweet,
middle-aged mother of three and, despite their differences in age, was
Courtney's closest friend at the office. “Is everything okay?”
“Fine, Ellen,” Courtney tried to force her tone to be
normal. Based on Ellen's expression, Courtney sounded as strained to her
friend's ears as she did to her own. “How did Tyler do on his math test?”
If there was one way to distract a mother, it was to
ask about her kids. Courtney tried to pay attention, she really did. After all,
she'd been there for Ellen through the past few months as the youngest of her
boys struggled with the multiplication tables. But once Ellen started in on how
Tyler's teacher wanted him to receive 'professional' tutoring, Courtney just
couldn't keep her focus. Vance's words kept ringing in her ears.
“ Maybe all you need is some discipline.”
That one sentence was all it had taken to flip that
switch inside her, the one she never wanted to acknowledge. The one that liked
the way Vance had sounded when he'd told her to stand. The part of her that
longed for that relinquishment of control.
“Courtney, what's going on?” Ellen's hand on
Courtney's arm drew the younger woman back from her thoughts. “And don't say
nothing. I know you too well for that.”
Courtney considered telling Ellen the truth, then
remembered that she could get fired for what she'd written and any mention of
what Vance had done, what she'd allowed him to do, wouldn't end well for either
of them. She settled for a half-truth. “I'm not feeling well.” There was no
need to explain the reason behind the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“Excuse me, Ellen. I have a project I need to check in with someone about.”
Courtney turned back towards her desk and reached for the phone.
By the time she placed her fourth call, her
desperation to reach Vance was almost palpable. She hated herself for how she
sounded when talking to his assistant, but her nerves were shot. Every time her
phone rang, an email dinged on her computer, or footsteps came their way, her
heart would stop for a second. Everything she read was from him. Every sound
was his voice, his step. And when it wasn't, a mixture of disappointment and
relief washed over her before it started all over again.
“That's it,” Courtney announced. She hurriedly typed
a note to Vance – to Mr. Forster, she amended. No more torturous waiting. She was
going to decide for herself what would happen next.
After sending it off, she pled out sick and headed
home. She wanted some time to write up her resignation and didn't think she
could handle the good-byes just yet. It wasn't until she closed the door behind
her that the full realization of what she'd done hit her. All of the strength
ran out of her legs, and she slumped to the ground. She clenched her hands
together, twisting her fingers until they hurt, wanting only to still their
trembling.
What had she been thinking? Why hadn't she just
waited for Vance to get out of his meeting? She was
Stephanie Hoffman McManus