selling my body to a stranger? What would my mom say if she could see me right now?
And Bethy. I’m worried sick about my sister. It’s some comfort that she’s warm and safe in a hotel room right now, but she’s still sick, and I’m not with her. We rarely leave each other’s side. And in the four-and-a-half years we’ve been on the streets, I’ve never spent a night apart from her.
Bean will take care of her. I know this. But still, I find it as impossible as ever to think about sex right now. Like so many other things, it’s a luxury that’s not part of my world.
“You look tense,” Andrew says. His voice, like the rest of him, is all man. It’s deep and commanding.
I shrug, sliding my hand from his abs around to his waist. “I’m fine.”
“When you said you’re inexperienced, how inexperienced did you mean?”
I pull my hand away and sigh deeply. “That’s kind of personal. I’m not asking for your full sexual history or anything.”
His brows arch slightly. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I’m not trying to pry, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable later. You’re not a virgin, are you?”
“So what if I am?”
He exhales his frustration through his nose. “Okay . . . well, I need to know what you’re comfortable with.”
I consider, still looking into his dark blue eyes. “Kissing. Touching . . . and blow jobs.”
The corners of his lips curl slightly. He’s trying not to laugh, I can tell.
“Look,” I say defensively. “Can we just do this? I’m ready.”
“I’m not laughing at you, Quinn,” he says, his expression turning serious. “It’s just that I can see how uncomfortable you are. Maybe this isn’t meant to be.” His eyes light up with an epiphany. “Hey, are you . . . definitely straight? If you’re not attracted to men, that would explain this.”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, I’m attracted to men. I’m just not attracted to pretentious, arrogant ones.”
His amusement is back. “Me, arrogant?”
“Yes, you . Like the only way a woman wouldn’t want to screw you is because she’s gay. Look up arrogance in the dictionary, and you’ll see a picture of yourself with that shit-eating grin on your face.”
“Is arrogance before or after uptight in the dictionary?”
My hand instinctively wraps around the smooth handle of my knife. “Did you seriously just say that to me? Your game needs some serious work.”
“My game’s never been a problem with other women.”
“Other women are probably impressed by your money and swagger. I’ve lived a privileged life before. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
I hold his gaze, my chin tilted up, as I wait for his next comeback. But instead, he just studies me silently.
“Tell me what you want,” he finally says.
I want him to stop looking at me that way. Like what I want matters. Like this is a regular date or something. I want his leather and cologne scent not to smell so damn good. I want his eyes to be less blue and his shoulders not so broad. A man with nearly a foot and probably a hundred pounds on me should have me feeling more cautious than I do right now.
“I want to do whatever I need to so you’re . . . satisfied and I can leave.”
“Satisfied?” He pauses, his eyes still on mine, and I’m wondering how he can communicate such intensity without words. “I’m very intrigued by you, Quinn. What would satisfy me is to learn more about you over a bottle of good wine.”
“The deal was sex.”
He nods. “If you’d prefer that, let’s get started.” He reaches for his belt buckle and unfastens it, pulling on one end until it quickly snakes all the way through the loops on his pants. “Go ahead and get undressed and lay down on the couch. Legs spread. And hold on to your ankles.”
I swallow hard. Damn, this is harder than I thought it would be. Neither sex nor sharing personal information appeals to me at the moment.
“Fine,” I concede. “Okay. We’ll
And Bethy. I’m worried sick about my sister. It’s some comfort that she’s warm and safe in a hotel room right now, but she’s still sick, and I’m not with her. We rarely leave each other’s side. And in the four-and-a-half years we’ve been on the streets, I’ve never spent a night apart from her.
Bean will take care of her. I know this. But still, I find it as impossible as ever to think about sex right now. Like so many other things, it’s a luxury that’s not part of my world.
“You look tense,” Andrew says. His voice, like the rest of him, is all man. It’s deep and commanding.
I shrug, sliding my hand from his abs around to his waist. “I’m fine.”
“When you said you’re inexperienced, how inexperienced did you mean?”
I pull my hand away and sigh deeply. “That’s kind of personal. I’m not asking for your full sexual history or anything.”
His brows arch slightly. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I’m not trying to pry, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable later. You’re not a virgin, are you?”
“So what if I am?”
He exhales his frustration through his nose. “Okay . . . well, I need to know what you’re comfortable with.”
I consider, still looking into his dark blue eyes. “Kissing. Touching . . . and blow jobs.”
The corners of his lips curl slightly. He’s trying not to laugh, I can tell.
“Look,” I say defensively. “Can we just do this? I’m ready.”
“I’m not laughing at you, Quinn,” he says, his expression turning serious. “It’s just that I can see how uncomfortable you are. Maybe this isn’t meant to be.” His eyes light up with an epiphany. “Hey, are you . . . definitely straight? If you’re not attracted to men, that would explain this.”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, I’m attracted to men. I’m just not attracted to pretentious, arrogant ones.”
His amusement is back. “Me, arrogant?”
“Yes, you . Like the only way a woman wouldn’t want to screw you is because she’s gay. Look up arrogance in the dictionary, and you’ll see a picture of yourself with that shit-eating grin on your face.”
“Is arrogance before or after uptight in the dictionary?”
My hand instinctively wraps around the smooth handle of my knife. “Did you seriously just say that to me? Your game needs some serious work.”
“My game’s never been a problem with other women.”
“Other women are probably impressed by your money and swagger. I’ve lived a privileged life before. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
I hold his gaze, my chin tilted up, as I wait for his next comeback. But instead, he just studies me silently.
“Tell me what you want,” he finally says.
I want him to stop looking at me that way. Like what I want matters. Like this is a regular date or something. I want his leather and cologne scent not to smell so damn good. I want his eyes to be less blue and his shoulders not so broad. A man with nearly a foot and probably a hundred pounds on me should have me feeling more cautious than I do right now.
“I want to do whatever I need to so you’re . . . satisfied and I can leave.”
“Satisfied?” He pauses, his eyes still on mine, and I’m wondering how he can communicate such intensity without words. “I’m very intrigued by you, Quinn. What would satisfy me is to learn more about you over a bottle of good wine.”
“The deal was sex.”
He nods. “If you’d prefer that, let’s get started.” He reaches for his belt buckle and unfastens it, pulling on one end until it quickly snakes all the way through the loops on his pants. “Go ahead and get undressed and lay down on the couch. Legs spread. And hold on to your ankles.”
I swallow hard. Damn, this is harder than I thought it would be. Neither sex nor sharing personal information appeals to me at the moment.
“Fine,” I concede. “Okay. We’ll
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