Hiding in Plain Sight Read Online Free PDF

shoulder bag and immediately sets about packing. She decides to take along with her a couple of camera cases in addition to the ones she has brought back from Bahia—who knows how long she’ll need to stay in Nairobi; perhaps she’ll even set up a studio there. She asks Marcella to bring up a couple more from the basement of the building, where Bella stores them. Bella packs her flash leads, hot-shoe-equipped units, and several other essential items. Often, Bella entrusts this job to a young half-Eritrean woman who serves as her assistant, but there isn’t time for that. So, as Bella does not like surprises, she packs for all eventualities, such as whether the sun will bless her with its presence or fail to show, like a hurt lover. Bella knows of an Italian photographer who lost much of his work—a month’s worth—because he hadn’t prepared for the sudden dust storm that swept in after a gorgeous day in Omdurman, Sudan.
    Marcella, bless her soul, keeps bringing sandwiches and drinks and asking questions. She expresses surprise at how much equipment and clothing Bella is packing. “Are you staying away for a long time?” she asks.
    â€œWhat would you have me do instead?” Bella asks.
    â€œFetch the kids here.”
    â€œAnd then what?”
    â€œLet them go to school here or in England with their grandmother, who would be more than willing to have them stay with her,” Marcella says.
    â€œThings seem a lot more complicated than that,” Bella says, “what with a dead father and a delinquent mother who may turn up in hopes of having a say in what happens to them. Not to mention that there is the children’s opinion to consider. Maybe they are happy where they are.”
    â€œSo are you relocating back to Africa for good?” Marcella asks. “Is that what you are intending to do,
carissima
?”
    â€œAar’s death changes all plans,” Bella replies.
    â€œIncluding where you’ll live?”
    â€œEverything,” Bella affirms.
    â€œAnd the apartment, what will you do about it?”
    â€œAar’s death has changed everything,” Bella says again.
    â€œBut you are so young and unfulfilled!” Marcella cries, once again unable to keep from speaking her mind.
    Disturbed, Bella sits on the edge of the bed, where the camera cases are still open, and puts her head in her hands. She knows there is no simple way she can explain to Marcella or anyone else what it feels like to lose Aar. And now that death has deprived her of him, how she feels she is answering a call to serve, almost a religious calling. As a young woman, she saw herself as his appendage, breathing the very oxygen he breathed. She has never married, never committed herself loyally and fully to another person, man or woman, always and forever waiting for the summons, duty-bound, steadfast in her dedication to her beloved brother, like a hound to its master. She has never forgotten the assistance and love he provided to her when she was a young girl growing up. Now it is her turn to give him and his children all the devotion they require, setting aside her own needs and desires.
    â€œForgive me for being selfish,” Marcella says.
    Bella asks, “What are you talking about?”
    â€œI was hoping you would be here when I go.”
    â€œGo where? Where will you go?”
    â€œI meant when I die,” Marcella says.
    Bella is at a loss for words. After a pause, she says, “At the moment, Dahaba and Salif are my priority. You will always be there in my mind and my heart; and of course, I will rush to return if there is urgent need.”
    The truth is, Bella hasn’t thought further than the next blind corner in a life marked by labyrinthine turns, as full of surprises as the paths that lead into and out of a casbah. The idea of travel, insofar as Bella is concerned, is bound up with the loading of cameras—the genesis of renewal via