Hero Rising Read Online Free PDF Page B

up and be responsible for us , not saving for the entire world!”
    Lena was making good points, but she needed to hear my heart. She needed to know that this calling is almost as great as my Mani calling. But this time, I had a say about it, though she was escalating the situation into a big melodrama. I decided to try to de-escalate what would grow into a big fight if I wasn’t careful. So, I downgraded the superhero aspect into something that was a minor activity. I said, “It’s different this time. It’s not what I have to do. It is what I want to do.”
    “Like a hobby?” she asked and I dismissed the edge of sarcasm in her voice.
    “That’s it!” I said, seizing on her word. “That is exactly what it is. A hobby!”
    “By calling it a hobby, doesn’t that demean it a little bit what you’re saying that you’re trying to do?” Oh, she was too smart, as always.
    “Look,” I said. “Then I’ll call it…” I stopped myself from continuing.
    “Call it what?” Lena asked.
    “I’ll call it whatever makes it easier for you to allow me to take on this challenge. I don’t want a conflict with you, so, maybe we shouldn’t label it and thereby, limit where I take it. Likewise, I don’t want it to become this huge thing between us. It’s not as important as you.”
    I think I threw Lena off. She didn’t realize how much I needed this. For me. For my own wellbeing. “Other men have a job they go to every day. Hell, even Tommy has a job. A nice, safe coaching job.”
    “You want me to coach Mani to fight MMA?”
    “No, I’m just trying to lend perspective about people who have to work for a living and don’t have all of this extra time on their hands to think up crazy stuff to do.”
    “Hey,” I said. “It’s not crazy. It’s a great idea.”
    “So, what is it, exactly? Is being a superhero a hobby or is it a job?”
    “Maybe it’s nothing we should define in finite terms. Maybe it doesn’t need to be put in a box of rules and definitions.”
    “Josiah…” Her voice trailed off in a sense of hurt. I know she felt left out when I went out on my own and left her at home with the boys. It was true, she didn’t get out much, but she never complained about it these days. She seemed happy to be just a mom, just a wife. I hoped that was enough for her, that I wasn’t marginalizing her importance.
    I stared at Lena and I thought about what I was truly asking for—her approval—and how much I did really want it so I could not feel so guilty about going off on superhero adventures.
    I said, “Let’s table the superhero thing for a moment. Let’s talk about you. Do you need to get out more? Build some friendships with other women?”
    “That’s not what this is about and you know it, so don’t try to make it about me. It’s all about you, Josiah.”
    “Okay,” I said quietly. “Just please know that I can’t escape the fact that helping someone in need is the greatest gift you can give to that person in need, and to yourself. It makes me feel so good to make a difference in people’s lives.”
    “You make a difference here, Josiah. When you’re here. I love it when you’re here. Especially when you want to be here.”
    “I see.” Now it was about me being away a lot. I was now dressing for the day. “Who knows what those boys are up to downstairs,” I said lightly, trying like hell to table the discussion because the balance of power was about to sway her way—I recognized it was pointless to continue the discussion right now. However, Lena pressed on.
    “Sweetheart,” Lena said staring me straight between the eyes. “I know who you are. I know what makes you tick. All I want to do is for both of us to weigh the possible consequences of a new career as a superhero. It’s not just that you aren’t here enough as it is, but that you are risking your life once again. I thought you were done with all of that! It makes me so nervous when you are out…looking for trouble and