Her Last Tomorrow Read Online Free PDF

of my eye.
    ‘I can imagine,’ McKenna says. ‘Must be very stressful indeed, day after day. It must eat away at you over time.’
    I ignore the comment. ‘Anyway, that can’t be right,’ I say. ‘He wouldn’t knock. He never knocks on anyone’s door. He barely ever answers his own. He would’ve just put it through the door or stuck it back in the postbox or left it out for the postman the next day. There’s no way he would’ve come and knocked.’
    ‘I’ve only got your word for that, Mr Connor,’ she says. ‘Just like I’ve only got your word for it that you put Ellie in the car when you said you did and that you were in the house when Mr Francis knocked at the door.’  
    ‘Well you’ve only got Derek’s word for it that I didn’t, haven’t you?’ I say. ‘Since when is his word taken more seriously than mine?’
    McKenna doesn’t respond to this.
    ‘Let me ask you again,’ she says. ‘Where were you?’

9

    The last few hours have been a blur. It’s now starting to get dark and we’ve still heard nothing.
    The accusatory tone of McKenna and the things she insinuated have poisoned the atmosphere in the house and Tasha’s gone out to join the search for Ellie. One of us needed to — it’s a case of getting as many people involved as possible — but we also need to keep someone in the house in case Ellie comes back. Tasha made it perfectly clear that that person should be me, suggesting that I’d done enough damage today already.
    Tasha’s put out a Facebook appeal which has already been shared over five hundred times. The police say that if we haven’t found her by tomorrow they’ll go to the press. Bearing in mind Ellie’s age, they say, it’s vital that we get the usual appeals out much faster than would otherwise be the case.
    It seems like everyone’s getting involved. A few of Tasha’s former school friends — Emma, Leanne and Cristina have been in touch. I was surprised at that, as she seems to have alienated most of her old friends by setting her sights so blindly on career progression. Tasha’s parents are on standby and have planned to fly over from Brisbane on the next available flight if Ellie hasn’t been found by tomorrow. I told them that wouldn’t be necessary and that by the time they’d got here we will more than likely have found her anyway. Deep down, I really don’t want them around, judging me on my behaviour.
    Julie and Tim are good people, but I can’t deny that it’s a relief knowing they’re on the other side of the world. Life has been so much quieter and easier since they moved away. My parents, on the other hand, would know just what to do. Mum would go straight into organisational mode, drawing up maps and itineraries and splitting everyone off into groups. Dad would do his best at keeping everyone calm and spirits high. I’ve missed that direction and positivity since they died.
    It’s impossible to describe what it feels like to be in the position where you know you need to do everything but can’t possibly do anything. Lying in your bedroom staring at the ceiling while everyone you know is out looking for your missing five-year-old daughter feels so wrong on every conceivable level, but there really is no other option.
    You always hear people say that the worst part is the not knowing. I’ve never really understood that phrase until now. Not knowing where she is. Not knowing whether she’s coming back. Not knowing if she’s with anyone. Not knowing if she’s safe. Not knowing if she’s happy. Not knowing if she’s alive.
    Not knowing.
    I guess it’s one of those moments where your life changes forever. There was before Ellie disappeared and after Ellie disappeared. A firm, deep line in the sand. A gulley. A canyon. Not to be crossed. My new life began on this day.
    I ponder this, and many other things, but nothing seems to help. There’s nothing that will bring Ellie back other than looking for her and I can’t even do that. All