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buy the drinks like I used to. I have very little money and what I do have has to go toward necessities. Definitely not expensive coffee drinks.
    If Evan saw me right now he’d probably want to kill me even though I wasn’t the one who paid. He’s become some sort of budget Nazi, constantly telling me to take my lunch to school or yelling at me when he finds fast food bags that I threw away in the trash. He’s busting his butt to pay for everything and I know I’m a burden on him.
    I should get a job. But where?
    “So why do you want to suddenly be with us again, hmm?” Valerie asks, getting right to the point as is her usual style. And the girl has style I can give her that. She’s pretty with her pale skin and deep red hair, sparkling hazel eyes and the faint freckles that dust her cheeks and across the bridge of her nose. When I met her she always had her face stuck in a magazine, specifically fashion magazines. She loves Vogue and Elle and Marie Claire and swears someday she’s going to work at one of them.
    “Val, stop,” Vanessa hisses, nudging Valerie in the ribs with her elbow. “I’m the one who harassed her first.”
    Val’s gaze narrows as she stares at me. “Right. So you had to approach her. Why’d you do that anyway? She should’ve come to us first.”
    “Come on, you know why. I told you I was going to do it…” Vanessa starts but I cut her off.
    “Don’t blame her, Valerie. And don’t fight over me either. I probably would’ve never got my head out of my ass quick enough to come to you two and ask for your forgiveness. I would’ve kept up this stupid charade forever.” I clear my throat and grab my drink, taking a quick sip. They’re staring at me as if I’ve lost my mind, which they probably think I have. I never cursed before. Not really. But I’m tired of playing games. I did have my head up my ass. “I’m sorry for what I did. I have no excuse for ditching you guys. All I can hope is that you both forgive me for being an idiot.”
    “I’ve already forgiven your idiocy,” Vanessa says chirpily, laughing when Valerie and I both send her a look. “What, it’s true. I’m over it. I’m just glad you’re back with us, Rev. The three Vs, together again.”
    I smile but Valerie doesn’t. I guess she’s not so eager for our reunion.
    “Why did you do it anyway?” When I send her a questioning look, Valerie continues. “You came back from the summer and completely ignored us. Started dressing like a tramp and hanging out with Rachel and Tally. It was weird,” Valerie says with a little grimace before she takes a drink of her mocha.
    “Yeah Rev. Why did you do it?” Vanessa asks, sounding a little sad, looking a little hurt. “I gotta say when you turned your back on us it hurt my feelings. Valerie’s too,” she adds, earning a stern look from Val.
    It’s hard to explain what I did or why I did it when I can hardly figure it out myself? What can I say to defend my selfish, stupid actions? So I let them talk, absorbing their questions, their angry emotions, letting the guilt and shame wash over me and take hold. But it doesn’t tempt me to run away from them. I will do whatever it takes to earn their friendship back.
    “We know about your parents,” Valerie says, her tone unyielding. “And we really don’t care. It doesn’t have anything to do with you and it’s not going to change how we feel about you either. You weren’t the one stealing. They were.”
    “I still feel guilty,” I admit, hanging my head so I stare at the table. It’s hard to talk about my parents with anyone. Evan and I hardly talk about them and he’s my brother.
    “So guilty that you thought it would be better to start acting like a complete slut?” Valerie asks innocently.
    “Val,” Vanessa hisses but I wave her off.
    “She’s right. I acted like a total…slut.” I grimace. I really despise that word. “I was feeling lost and confused. I went through a lot of…changes this