forty kilometres away, on a posh farm, in a mansion â so Martin says. Heâs ironing his shirts and jeans tonight because heâs going out to spend the weekend with her and her parents. Heâs never once brought her to this place; sheâd run a mile if she saw this madhouse. Thatâs whathe said to Donny.
Donny will turn eighteen in June. Heâs good with babies and heâs got the bawler quiet but heâs getting impatient to use that iron. He works at the biggest supermarket, which means he has to iron a shirt every day. Itâs worth it, though. He gets a discount on food and this house goes through an awful lot of food. Heâs half a head taller than Martin, but skinny, and heâs not evennearly good looking, just a blotch of pale skin and freckles, pale eyes, stubby eyelashes and stubby red hair. Heâs never had a girlfriend and the way he looks he probably wonât ever get one, like his hair is about half a centimetre long and it shows all the bumps on his head so he looks ridiculous.
The next three brothers are at high school. They get Henry haircuts and two of them donât likeit. Greg was fifteen in December, Vinnie will be fourteen in April and Mick turns thirteen in June. Those three must have come out of Mavis like bullets, sort of bang, bang, bang â probably she was getting desperate to have a girl.
Anyway, itâs pretty easy for people to remember which of the middle-sized brothers is which. Greg has always been Mavisâs pet because he was her Christmas presentand he used to be cute. Heâs medium sized with medium dark brown hair and heâs spoilt rotten. However, since he turned fifteen, that spoilt rotten inside him is working its way to the outside, because lately heâs looking pure pimply putrid. Heâs a thief and heâd kill you for a stick of chewed-up chewing gum.
Vinnie you have to feel a bit sorry for. Mavis says he was hiding behind the door whenbrains were handed out, and she could be right. Heâs the dead spit of Mavisâs father â curly carrot-red hair, hands and feet twice as big as everyone elseâs, and a year ago he started growing into his hands and feet and he hasnât stopped since. Heâs huge for nearly fourteen, like giant huge. Already heâs nearly taller that Donny. He can be pretty rotten; like heâd pinch the last chip off your plate,though he hasnât got enough brains to be as devious rotten as Greg.
Mick? Well, some people are rotten and some are beautiful and thatâs all there is to it. Mick is pure beautiful, even though he has got a crippled leg. He speaks soft, like Henry, and heâs gentle, like Henry; Mick should have been the girl. Heâs even got a beautiful face, sort of freckled but neat sprinkled freckles, not blotchy,and heâs got these gorgeous big blue-grey eyes and one of those mouths that always look as if they are going to say something nice about someone, which is not common in this house.
Lori is Number Six, like sheâs the comma that you put in the halfway mark of a sentence then forget why you put it in there. Probably she only got put in so people could take a breath between reading the names of allthe brothers.
Thirteen months after Lori, the twins turned up with messed-up hearts. They spent most of their time sick and seeing doctors or living at the hospital, so when they were two Henry did that deal with Aunty Eva, then spent most weekends going backwards and forwards to Melbourne. He was happier then, younger then; he hasnât been to Melbourne for years now, so everybody has pretty muchforgotten about those twins, except Henry. Theyâve sort of become his other family, kept safe from the mess of people heâs made in Willama.
The next three brothers are Jamesy, Neil and Timmy. They are pretty easy to remember too. Everyone calls Jamesy Gnome Face; heâs always been Gnome Face since he turned up a year and four