Heartless (Keeping Secrets) Read Online Free PDF Page B

just lie about it if he did for him to finally get the message. I didn’t need anyone else’s help. I could handle it on my own and I would… eventually.
    “Aren’t you paying attention? Tommy Johnson freaking kissed me,” I ranted, ignoring Kevin’s words. It was an old argument. One we’d had many, many times before.
    “He treats you like he’s entitled to do that, and he’s not, Jason. You’re not his personal hooker, and what he’s doing is wrong.” Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. I’d heard this spiel before. “Jason, you better quit your shit and pay attention to me. I don’t buy this whole thing you’ve got going on. I know you’re not half as big of a douche as you project. It’s a front, and anyone with eyes could see that. Lucky for you that half our classmates are blind. What worries me is the fact that you are allowing Jonathan to not only get away with it, but you’re also allowing him to dictate your personal life.”
    I snorted. “Puh-leez. I’m in charge of my personal life. I don’t have serious boyfriends because there is no one I want to put up with in bed for more than a day or two. Jeez, Kev, lighten up.”
    Kevin was so not buying it. His eyebrows were furrowed like they usually were when he was thinking about something too hard. “He doesn’t control you? Every time you get around someone you might like, you manage to talk yourself out of it. Why? Because you’re scared of what Jonathan will do if he finds out you’ve got a steady boyfriend. If that’s not control, I don’t know what is.”
    Finally I caved. I had to. He was like a dog with a bone, but I didn’t give up ground easily. “It’s only for another couple years, Kev. Then me and you will be at NYU or State, and I can forget he fucking exists.” It was the dream I had clung to since middle school. The end of my hell lay just beyond the other side of graduation.
    “It’s not right.” Kevin balled up his fists like he wanted to hit something. I knew the feeling. Just hours before, I’d felt the same. I reached out and put a hand over his clenched fist.
    “No, it’s not right. But there isn’t a damn thing we can do about it. I’m not getting thrown into a foster home for a year. No freaking way. So I’ll run interference the best way I can until then. Okay?” I begged him to understand, to give me a little more time. He was the only, and I do mean only, person who knew about Jonathan outside of my immediate family.
    “You could come live with me. You know Mom and Dad wouldn’t mind.” It was something he’d offered before, but I was stubborn.
    “I don’t need charity, Kev. I love you, you know that, but I am not dragging your parents to court so that I can crash at your place. Besides, you know there is more involved than that if I wanted to live with you. Jonathan would lose it if I lived here. He’d drag your parents into court just for the hell of it, or file kidnapping charges or some shit.”
    He sighed unhappily, but I felt a fierce joy, knowing that I’d won. “Fine, but as soon as you turn eighteen, you’re getting the fuck out of there. You feel me?” I nodded eagerly. “Good. So Tommy boy, huh? I thought you were over him ages ago when he called you an ‘AIDS terrorist’.”
    I felt the burn on my cheeks that clued me in to the fact that I was blushing. “Of course I’m over him. He’s yesterday’s news. Besides, I got him back, remember?” The memory did not bring me the usual pride in my victory that it normally did. “I just couldn’t believe he had the balls to kiss me like that in front of his cousin. What a loser.” The last part was an especially weak bit of commentary on my part, especially since my lips were still tingling and I got warm every time I thought about that kiss. Kevin grunted, male speak for neither agreeing nor disagreeing with my statement. He regarded me for long enough that I got uncomfortable and I forced a yawn that actually wasn’t that forced. I’d