Heartbreaker Hanson Read Online Free PDF

shook my head. “I—I haven’t finished reading the chapter yet. I’m not
ready for the studying part.”
    “That’s
okay, you can read it while I finish my history paper,” he suggested.
    A
strange panic rose inside me. I felt trapped. And dizzy.
    I
wanted to get away as fast as I could. I’m sure quite a bit of my spaz came
from the simple act of discovering him gazing at me when I hadn’t known that he
was. I loved the guy, so that incident had my heart pounding wild, but on top
of that there was the fact that he wanted to study here—in his room. We
had studied thousands of times together last year, but never in his room—not
even at his house. We usually studied in Laurie’s den or at my kitchen table.
    We
had never studied in a private place before, and thinking of doing it now, tonight,
had me rattled, to say the least. Not that I thought he was going to attack me—of
course. I could only wish he would
attack me. Well, you know what I mean—if there wasn’t Laurie to consider.
But there was Laurie to consider. So,
even though he seemed to have put last year’s kiss on the bus out of his
mind—locked it away as a far-out blunder— I couldn’t lock it away. It was right up there in my mind, swimming
around making me breathless and dizzy, right along with his heated stare that I
had always craved, but never ever dreamed I’d get.
    With
all my heart I wanted to get away from him as fast as I could, to the safety of
my own room, where I could think about his gaze, and fantasize about its
implications (and not worry/dwell on the fact that it was totally disloyal to
my friend—and made me an extremely bad person).
    Also,
I wanted to fantasize about kissing him.
    …
but of course it couldn’t happen for real. It couldn’t.
    …
yet if I stayed, it seemed it might.
    He
seemed to be over Laurie. I’d waited two long years for that. But now that it
was finally here, I knew it was hopeless. Laurie was my friend. Even if they
broke up—I mean, broke up for real this time (which never seemed to be
the case—but even if it was) Laurie was my friend. Which meant I could
never have Drew.
    Even
if his eyes told me that’s what he wanted—wanted me. (!!!)
    I
gulped. “I don’t have my book,” I said, practically clawing behind me at the
door.
    “You
can use mine,” he offered, showing his book to me.
    He
eyed me curiously as he did it, looking at me as though I’d gone bananas or
something. Possibly because we had studied so often together—yet now I
was being a spaz.
    He
tilted his head. “Does it bother you that we’re in my room? We don’t have to
study here if you don’t want to.”
    Maybe
I’d imagined his “heated” stare? Maybe it was just a normal, everyday glance
and I was just a pathetic delusional dork due to his kiss. His kiss that he apologized for, and had only happened in
the first place because I murmured his name in my sleep, so he knew I was
dreaming about him. He probably thought the kiss would be funny. Had intended
it to be a joke or something—but I took it wrong.
    And
now I’m a spaz.
    I
drew out a breath. “No, its okay,” I said, grabbing the chemistry book he
offered me and quickly taking a seat at his messy desk.
    “It’s
kind of a mess,” he said. “We don’t have to study in here.”
    “No,”
I said, acting like I was already engrossed in the book, though I just opened
it. “It’s great, don’t worry about it.”
    He
looked at me a moment, and then grinned, “You’re really weird.”
    “Thanks
a lot,” I laughed, relaxing a little.
    “You
can’t sit there though. I need to use the computer,” he said, meaning that he
would need to use his desk, which I was sitting at (awkwardly). “You can just
throw all that stuff off the bed.”
    Oh-kay.
    I
sat on his bed with my back against the wall, kind of enjoying this
position—way too much. I could peek up from my book and study him as
often as I wanted without fear of being detected, because he would