Hawke Read Online Free PDF Page B

worry about me, Tyler. You worry about yourself. I see you when I see you.”
    “How long?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “That’s not good enough.” Her voice broke. “The club’s not the same without you, Hawke. You have to find a way back.”
    “You were just talkin’ about how incredible Hector’s been doing –”
    “Yeah, in front of Hector. It’s not like I’m going to trash him when he’s three feet away from me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s trying really hard and I don’t want to downplay his efforts, but it’s not the same and he struggles. You’re the real president and we need you.”
    Barely hanging on to consciousness, Hawke closed his eyes. “It’s not up to me anymore, darlin’. I can’t go back. I’ll never be able to, and that’s something you have to accept.”
    “It’s not fair.”
    “Yeah, well, Ty, you’re fifteen, and you’re gonna find out soon enough how unfair life is. And instead of whining about it, you gotta suck it up and learn to evolve. That means accepting I’m not gonna be around the club for a very long time.”
    “Take me with you.”
    “I don’t know where I’m headed.”
    “I don’t care. Take me.”
    “No.”
    He felt her anger. She tried squirming back out of his arms, but he tightened his grip so she wouldn’t move. “Stop fightin’ me,” he told her sternly.
    “Then take me with you,” she pleaded. “I want to be with you.”
    “Ty –”
    “I love you!” She went limp again and sniffed, hiding her face against his chest. She couldn’t face him after that admission. Instead, she kept her lips sealed and coated his skin with her tears.
    Hawke stilled, taken completely off guard. “Ty,” he said, “what in the fuck do you know about love?”
    “I know love is home, and I feel it most when you’re with me.”
    He sighed and shook his head to himself. This girl was so fucking naïve. And ridiculously sweet. What the hell had he done to just claim her from the other guys? He didn’t want her, but the thought of her growing and fucking around with someone from the club grated on his nerves. They would just lock her away in a nice little house on the other side of town while they fucked other women. It would be living her mother’s life, and he couldn’t risk that possibility.
    But…love?
    She’s a teenager. She probably loves a different boy every week.
    “It’s not love you’re feeling,” he said to her. “It’s fantasy. You’re young. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
    “What if I do?”
    “You’ll find someone,” he vaguely said. “Get a cute little pimply dude from your high school. Have fun with him in the back of his thirty-year-old truck. Experience shit, Tyler. Don’t be deluded enough to just wait around for me because I sure as shit am not gonna be waitin’ around for you to grow up. You gotta stop whatever you think you’re feeling because it’s not real.”
    “What if you want me one day?” she asked. “And what if it’s too late when you do?”
    “Tyler, actin’ cryptic isn’t in in your nature –”
    “What if you want me? Just answer .”
    “Tyler, one day every fuckin’ man will want you. And by then, even if I looked at you and wanted between those legs, you’ll have your eyes open to the world, and you’ll be having too much fucking fun to stop and want some dead fugitive.”
    She didn’t agree with his words, but she didn’t argue. She was stiff in his arms, and though he was barely hanging on to consciousness, he tried to comfort her. He rubbed circles over her shoulder and kept her glued to his side. She felt good like this. He knew it was because he hadn’t felt the warmth of someone in a very long time, but he liked this.
    He liked it a damn lot.
    “Your letters helped,” he murmured, unable to put a lid on his thoughts. Mostly, he wanted to make her feel better. “They helped a lot, Tyler. No one else wrote to me. Only you did and…”
    Every time he’d