Hard Choices Read Online Free PDF Page B

without Scott around, I had a lot more money to play with. We’d split our cell phone bills, our car insurance, and everything else – but somehow, he’d always needed something to “tide him over between paychecks.” And my grocery bill had dropped significantly. When I did my bills after he’d been gone a solid month, I couldn’t help smiling to myself a little. I sure hoped Sarah had a good job; she’d need one to keep Scott in the style I’d gotten him accustomed to.
    Kyle stopped by one day as I was finishing up painting the kitchen. I heard the front door open and a call of “MOM!” It kind of irritated me. I was going to start locking the door. I really was enjoying my privacy. One of the many advantages of living alone was taking long, hot baths with a glass of wine and a good book, and I didn’t relish the thought of my grown children bursting in on me.
    “Kitchen!” I called back to Kyle.
    It took him much longer to get to the kitchen than it should have.
    “Kyle?” I finally called, climbing down off the ladder where I was painting.
    “Yeah. Wow, big changes around here,” he said hesitantly, as he came around the corner into the kitchen.
    I internally rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry,” I said a little sharply, “your room and the family room remain untouched, OK?”
    “No, Mom, I didn’t mean – “ I stared at him, one hand on my hip, paint roller in the other, and waited for him to tell me what he did mean. “I just… I guess… it’s just weird to me how happy you and Dad both are,” he blurted out. “You were married forever! Don’t you guys miss each other at all?” he said unhappily.
    I put my paint brush down and picked up a rag to wipe my hands. It was a delay tactic, because I was about to tell my son something he did not seem to want to hear. I took a deep breath.
    “I can’t speak for your father, but as for me, no, Kyle, I don’t miss your dad. At all.” I looked him dead in the eye as I said it, expecting to see hurt turn to anger. Instead, it just turned to confusion.
    “How… how is that possible? Mom, I still miss Amber every day!” Oh. Now it made sense. He was equating his painful break-up with his girlfriend to the dissolution of his parents’ marriage. I nodded my head knowingly.
    “Ahhh. I think I see now,” I said. “Would you like a cup of coffee, sweetheart?”
    “Uh, sure.”
    “Have a seat,” Kyle sort of collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table, dropping his head into his hand and looking up at me. He looked so young when he did that! I could remember him at five years old, giving me that same look here in this kitchen, when he was confused and upset over some painful life lesson. “Kyle,” I turned around to pour him a mug of coffee, “what was the most painful thing about how things ended with Amber?”
    He sighed and took the cup from me as I handed it to him. “I think… that it ended so abruptly. It was so out of the blue. One day, we were making plans for seeing each other every weekend while she was down at school, suddenly, the next day – literally the next day – she told me it was over and she wanted to go off to college with a ‘clean slate,’ whatever the hell that means,” he said almost viciously.
    “So it ended abruptly and it felt… unfinished?” I tried to clarify.
    “Yeah,” he said slowly, “it did feel unfinished. It does feel unfinished.” It had been more than two years since they’d broken up. Kyle had tried to see her during Christmas breaks, but she hadn’t responded to his texts or calls. Silently, I had applauded Amber’s restraint. I knew it had hurt Kyle, but I also knew it was for the best. If she’d given him any hope, he’d never had moved on. He’d dated a little, not getting serious again. But now, I realized, he hadn’t moved on at all. I’d been fooling myself. My son was still stuck in two-year-old pain and confusion. And he could not, for the life of him, understand why his dad