Happy All the Time Read Online Free PDF Page B

droplets of oatmeal fell on Vincent’s lap. Little Hugh continued to sing and flatten his muffin with his fist.
    â€œSay good morning to Mr. Cardworthy, children,” said Rachel.
    â€œYou’re not Artie,” said Sophie.
    â€œThat’s right. I’m Vincent.”
    â€œWhat’s a Vincent?” Sophie said.
    â€œVincent is a man’s name,” Vincent explained.
    â€œAre you a man?” Sophie asked.
    â€œYes,” said Vincent.
    â€œThen prove it,” Sophie squealed. She giggled violently. The spoon fell to the floor and landed on Vincent’s shoe.
    â€œThat’s quite enough,” said Rachel. “Go into the kitchen and get some toast.” Sophie skipped into the kitchen, but little Hugh came over to inspect. He stood next to Vincent and rested his head on Vincent’s knee. He was drooling. He looked deeply into Vincent’s eyes and then departed, leaving two buttery smudges on Vincent’s trousers.
    Rachel handed him a muffin and a cup of coffee. “It’s so hard to know if they’re in the oral or anal stages these days.” She sighed and drank her coffee. While Vincent was finishing his breakfast, she called his host for directions and then sent Vincent on his way.
    â€œArtie called while you were in the shower,” Rachel said. “So you’d better hightail it out of here. I do hope you didn’t leave any traces of yourself anywhere. Children, come and say goodbye to nice Mr. Cardworthy.”
    Vincent had lived in New York for almost three years. For two and a half, he had been a trouble-shooter for the Board of City Planning. This Board was not attached to any city—it was a think tank for urban study. Vincent was its crack expert on garbage—production, removal, potential dangers and uses, conservation, and politics. Garbage, at the Board of City Planning, was not called garbage. It was called “nonproductive ex-consumer materials.” As trouble-shooter he had been on the road, addressing city councils, government agencies, and sanitation conferences. His apartment in New York was rather monastic as a result, as was the rest of his nonworking life. Most of his free time, of which there was very little, he spent with Holly and Guido at whose wedding three years ago he had been best man.
    After the publication of Vincent’s last two papers, the Board had decided that he was too valuable to run around the country. Thus one of Vincent’s underlings became the trouble-shooter. Vincent stayed in New York and was rented out to the government on special occasions.
    Now that he was more settled, Vincent had found himself a romantic entanglement—one that was in no way productive, joy-producing, or oriented toward the future. Her name was Winnie Minor and she was married to a stockbroker named Henry whom she called “Toad” or “the Toad.” All of Henry’s friends called him by this name, she had explained. She had ambled into the Board one day to attend a seminar on Urban Education. Winnie was a reading evaluator at Tift Memorial High School, which was famous for its basketball team and its low reading scores. She was having a little trouble compiling some data, so Vincent, who had a little free time, offered to help her plan a computer program. They met under the normal curve, Vincent said.
    Guido and Holly had met Winnie once and both were alarmed. Holly thought Winnie was the worst of what she called “Vincent’s vacuous no-shows” and Guido thought Winnie was the living symbol of something terrible in Vincent’s life. Winnie was myopic, but even with her glasses, which she wore reluctantly, her face was so empty of expression that nearsightedness seemed a more animated and interesting condition. She wore the sort of clothes the Queen Mother wears to go trout fishing—tweeds and pearls.
    Vincent was not in love with Winnie and he did not find her endearing. She was