Halfway to the Grave Read Online Free PDF Page B

through the narrow opening, a sudden twist of my bladder reminded me that I was still very much dependent on my organs.
    “Um…er, I don’t suppose…” To hell with the niceties. “Is there a bathroom in here? One of us still has functioning kidneys.”
    He stopped short, arching an eyebrow at me. There were thin streams of light coming from the limestone ceiling, making crisscrossed patterns of illumination throughout the cave. Daytime, then.
    “Do you think this is a bloomin’ hotel? What, next you’ll be wanting a bidet?”
    With infuriated embarrassment, I ground out, “Unless you like it messy, I suggest you show me an alternative, and fast.”
    A noise that sounded very much like a sigh came from him. “Follow me. Don’t trip or twist anything, damned if I’ll carry you. Let’s see what we can come up with. Sodding woman.”
    As I clambered after him, I comforted myself with mental images of him writhing helplessly under my stake. The visual was so clear, I almost smiled as he led me toward the sounds of water.
    “There.” He pointed to a cluster of rocks that appeared to hang over a small inner stream. “That water runs downstream. You can climb on those rocks and do your business.”
    I hurried over, and he called out with an edge to his tone, “By the way, if you’re thinking you’ll just jump off and swim out of here, it’s a bad idea. That water’s about forty degrees and snakes over two miles before it exits these caves. You’d be suffering from hypothermia long before then. Not a nice way to be, shivering and lost in the dark, delusions setting in. Besides, you’d have broken our agreement. I’d find you. And I would be really, really displeased.”
    The grim note in his voice made the words sound more lethal than the cocking of a gun. Despair pricked me. I had been thinking of doing that.
    “See you in a bit.” He turned around and walked a short ways away, his back to me. Sighing, I climbed up the rocks and balanced while answering nature’s untimely call.
    “I suppose toilet paper’s out of the question?” I called out flippantly.
    There was a bark of laughter in reply. “I’ll put it on my shopping list, Kitten.”
    “Stop calling me Kitten. My name is Cat.” Finished, Ilowered myself down until I again stood on somewhat solid ground. “What’s yours, by the way? You never told me. If we’re going to be…working together, at least I should know what to call you. Unless you simply prefer answering to profanity, of course.”
    There was that sly curl to his lips again when he faced me. His feet were planted apart and his hips tilted slightly forward. Pale hair hugged his head in tight waves. Under the pinholes of light around him, his skin positively glowed.
    “My name is Bones.”
     
    “First things first, luv. If you’re going to be truly good at killing vampires, you need to know more about them.”
    We sat on boulders facing each other. The dim light in the cave from the shafts of sun had a vague strobe effect. It had to be by far the strangest moment of my life, sitting across from a vampire calmly discussing the best ways to kill one.
    “Sunlight doesn’t do anything but give us a bad sunburn. Our skin won’t explode in flames like it does in the movies, and we won’t turn into bits of crispy chicken. However, we do like to sleep in the day because we are most powerful at night. That’s an important point to remember. During the day we are slower, weaker, and less alert. Especially at dawn. By dawn, you’ll find most vampires tucked into whatever they call a bed, which as you could tell from last night doesn’t necessarily mean a coffin. Oh, some of the old-fashioned ones will only sleep in coffins, but most of us sleep in whatever’s most comfortable. In fact, some vamps will have coffins staged in their lair so some Van Helsing wannabe goes there first while the vampire sneaks up on them. Done that trick a time or two myself. So if you think throwing up