Guilty Innocence Read Online Free PDF Page B

appears leads her to sit back down on the sofa. She waits for Mark’s explanation.
    He takes his time before he says anything. When he does, Natalie almost gets up to leave, so disappointed is she with the weakness of his words.
    ‘I didn’t want to,’ he says. ‘Adam - the other boy - made me go along with it.’ She stares at him in disbelief.
    ‘That’s it? That’s your great explanation?’ She can’t believe she’s hearing such crap. ‘What little kids say when they’re caught doing something they shouldn’t? How someone else is to blame, never them?’ She stands up. It’s dark outside now and she yearns to be back in her flat, away from the disappointment the man before her represents. ‘Do you know how pathetic you sound?’
    ‘It’s true, Nat, I swear.’ She steels herself against the plea in his voice.
    ‘Yeah, right. So how come you got convicted? You were found guilty. Same as Adam Campbell. Given an identical sentence.’
    He doesn’t reply. His silence grates on her. Surely he can find the words to speak in his defence when the charge against him is so serious?
    ‘I don’t remember anyone ever saying you were less guilty, not as involved in what happened to that child, than Adam Campbell.’
    ‘It’s like I told you, Nat. He forced me into it. Made me go along with the whole thing. I didn’t realise what he had planned until it was all too late.’
    Lies, complete bollocks, Natalie tells herself. If he’s so innocent, why didn’t that come out during the police questioning or at the trial? Equal sentences were handed down and for Natalie that means matching guilt. A detail from back then floats down the years towards her. Detained at Her Majesty’s Pleasure…a recommended minimum term of ten years in custody. Abby Morgan’s mother led an unsuccessful campaign to get the sentence increased, Natalie recalls, remembering her own mother remarking on the seeming inadequacy of ten years when a child’s life has been taken, despite the youth of her murderers.
    Her next question is a direct challenge. ‘So how come you got an equal sentence with the other boy?’
    He answers obliquely, merely repeating what he’s said before. ‘I didn’t want to hurt her, Nat, I swear.’
    Why the hell won’t he give her a direct answer? Because he’s a bastard, that’s why. Worse; he’s a child killer, for God’s sake, and the sanctuary of her flat calls to her again, along with the bar of Dairy Milk she’ll buy on the way home. Except the idea of chocolate sends her stomach heaving again and she pushes Mark aside, running to the bathroom to bring up more of the sandwich and biscuits when she’d thought she had nothing left to vomit.
    She’s aware of him standing behind her as the sour stench of puke rises from the toilet bowl into her face. The faint lemony tang of his aftershave causes her to retch once more. She stands up shakily, rinsing the acid from her mouth with cool water from the sink.
    ‘Are you OK?’ Now it’s her turn to flinch at the concern in his voice. It doesn’t gel with her new image of him as a heartless child killer; she can’t marry the two up and the divergence makes her angry and confused.
    ‘No, I’m fucking well not OK.’ She pushes past him, intent on leaving. He grabs her arm as she does so. Part of her, a rapidly shrinking one, still needs to believe he’s not an evil child killer; she doesn’t pull away.
    ‘I’m sorry, Nat,’ he says. ‘Sorry you found out this crap. I couldn’t tell you any of it, of course.’
    She stands there mutely. Yes, she gets that. How do you tell your girlfriend you’re a child killer?
    ‘I wanted to.’ His voice is plaintive. ‘Didn’t think you’d understand. Besides, it seemed too soon. We’ve not been together long, after all. Had no idea how you’d react. Anyway, under the terms of my release, I’m supposed to tell my supervising officer if I get serious with anyone.’
    Natalie doesn’t understand. He’s