Grotesque Read Online Free PDF

she was. I was reminded of a turtle we’d kept in our classroom when I was in elementary school. It would always stretch its crooked legs out in the muddy water of its tank, raise its head, and sniff the dust-laden air of our classroom with a stupid look on its face, the nostrils in its big nose quivering.
    The mind-numbing Year Out/Year In TV show had started as I 2 0
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    searched for my muddy boots from among the piles of shoes that had been cast off and scattered across the floor of the wide entry hall. When the snow melts, the roads up in the mountains turn to mud, so even foreigners followed the Japanese practice of removing their shoes when they came inside. My old red rubber boots were as cold as ice when I slipped into them. Yuriko started to pout.
    “You can’t call our cabin a cabin. Its just a stupid old ordinary house.
    I wish we had a fireplace like the Johnsons’. That’d be great.”
    “Why?”
    “Masami asked if, next year, we could have the party at our house.”
    “Well, too bad. Daddy’s too stingy.”
    “Johnson was really surprised about that. He couldn’t believe we were going to a Japanese school. Why do we have to live like the Japanese when we look so different from everyone else? It’s just like he says. I’m always being teased and called gaijin and asked if I can speak Japanese and stuff.”
    “Yeah, well, no use crying to me.”
    I yanked the door open and stepped out ahead of Yuriko into the darkness. I don’t know why I was so angry. The cold air stung my cheeks.
    The snow had stopped falling, and it was pitchblack. The mountains were there looming over us, pressing in around us, and yet they had dissolved into the darkness of the night and were completely invisible. With no light but a flashlight, Yuriko s eyes must have turned into those black pools again, I thought. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. I became frightened just by the knowledge that I was walking alone through the darkness with a monster. I gripped the flashlight and started running.
    “Wait!” Yuriko shrieked. “Don’t leave me!”
    Eventually Yuriko stopped screaming, but I was too scared to turn around. I felt as if I were walking with my back to an eerie pond, and something was crawling up out of it and chasing me. Angry to have been left behind, Yuriko was running after me. When I finally turned around, her face was directly in front of me. I gazed slowly over the white sculpted features of her face, now illuminated in the light reflected off the snow. Her eyes were the only features I could not see. I was scared.
    “Who are you?” I blurted out. “Who the hell are you?”
    “What do you mean?”
    “You’re a monster!”
    That made Yuriko angry. “Well, you’re a dog!”
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    “I hope you die!”
    And with that I took off. Yuriko snatched at the hood of my jacket from behind and pulled on it so tightly she made me bend backward.
    But I still managed to give her a hard push. She was smaller than I was, and I caught her off guard. She let go and tumbled backward, arms flailing, into a snowbank along the roadside.
    I ran home without looking back again and, once inside, I locked the door. After a few minutes there came the sound of pathetic knocking, just like in a cartoon version of a fairy tale. I pretended not to hear.
    “Please! Open the door. It’s cold out here.” Yuriko was crying. “Open the door! Please. I’m scared.”
    “You’re the one who’s scary! It serves you right!” I ran to my room and crawled into bed. I could hear Yuriko banging on the front door hard enough to break it down, but I pulled the blanket over my head. Just let her freeze to death! I thought. It’s true. I longed for this from the very bottom of my heart.
    I fell asleep before long, only to be awakened by the unpleasant smell of sour liquor. What time was it? I wondered. My parents were standing at the door to my bedroom arguing. My father was drunk. Because of