Greatest Zombie Movie Ever Read Online Free PDF Page B

existed in his world except for this screenplay.
    Veronica walks down the street, limping a bit because she was just in a helicopter crash. A pair of zombies runs toward her.
    â€œFast zombies or slow zombies?” Justin had asked last night, early in the story development discussion.
    â€œSlow zombies,” said Gabe.
    â€œFast zombies,” said Bobby.
    â€œSlow zombies are scarier.”
    â€œNo, they’re not. Fast zombies are scarier because they’re fast.”
    â€œFast zombies aren’t realistic.”
    â€œ Zombies aren’t realistic.”
    â€œIf you were a corpse that came back to life, you wouldn’t be moving fast,” Gabe insisted. “It doesn’t make any sense. Decomposed muscles are slow.”
    â€œYou can just walk away from slow zombies,” said Bobby. “Just la-di-da, strolling along. Oops, that one is kind of close. I’d better veer slightly to the left. Uh-oh, there’s another one. I suppose I’ll have to shove it over.”
    â€œUntil you’re overwhelmed by their sheer numbers,” said Gabe. “That’s the whole point of zombies. They don’t seem like a huge threat until suddenly you’re surrounded and there’s no way to escape. You’re doomed.”
    â€œYou’re more doomed if you’re surrounded by fast zombies.”
    â€œ Shaun of the Dead has slow zombies.”
    â€œ Zombieland has fast zombies.”
    â€œLucio Fulci’s Zombie has slow zombies.”
    â€œ 28 Days Later has fast.”
    â€œThose aren’t zombies. Those are the infected.”
    â€œThey’re zombies.”
    â€œThey’re the infected.”
    â€œStop being such a zombie snob.”
    â€œI’m not being a snob. I’m being accurate.”
    â€œ Dawn of the Dead has fast zombies.”
    â€œNo, Dawn of the Dead has slow zombies.”
    â€œIt has fast zombies,” said Bobby. “I watched it last week. We’ll put in the Blu-ray.”
    â€œWhich one are you talking about?”
    â€œ Dawn of the Dead .”
    â€œNo, which version?”
    â€œI’m talking about the remake.”
    â€œWell, I’m talking about the original.”
    â€œThe remake was better.”
    â€œGet out of my house,” said Gabe. “I mean Justin’s house.”
    â€œI’m allowed to express my opinion. You can’t tell me that if you were walking down the sidewalk and somebody said, ‘Hey, dude, I’m going to release a dozen zombies to chase after you. Would you prefer that I release the fast-moving variety or the slow-moving variety?’ you wouldn’t request the slow-moving ones.”
    â€œThat’s real life. This is a movie.”
    â€œYou’re the one who was talking about realism.”
    â€œOkay,” said Gabe. “If we’re going to try to make the greatest zombie movie ever, then we need to pay homage to the original classic, Night of the Living Dead . Therefore, we need to go with slow zombies. Case closed.”
    â€œThe first zombie in Night of the Living Dead chased after Barbara in her car, so technically it had both fast and slow zombies. Ha! Logic fail!”
    â€œThat’s it!” said Justin. “We’ll have the best of both worlds. Our movie will have both fast and slow zombies. Guaranteed mass appeal!”
    â€œWhat about talking zombies?” asked Bobby.
    â€œNo talking zombies,” said Justin and Gabe, almost simultaneously.
    â€œ Return of the Living Dead had talking zombies.”
    â€œShut up,” Justin and Gabe said.
    Veronica watches the zombies, her expression unreadable. But then she…smiles.
    VERONICA
    Sorry, guys. Not today.
    She takes out a machine gun [ Note to self: Figure out where she was keeping the machine gun. ] and opens fire. The zombies’ heads turn to goopy mush, and they drop to the ground. [ Note to self: It would be cool if the mush formed the