Granny Read Online Free PDF

kitchen.”
    â€œNo, thank you.” Joe only liked Ovaltine cold. For some reason, once it was heated up, it went all sweet and sticky.
    â€œHow about a nice lemon-and-honey milk shake?”
    â€œNo,” Joe insisted.
    â€œI could sprinkle some nutmeg on the top!”
    â€œNo, thank you.”
    â€œI think I’ll take Joe home,” Mrs. Jinks said. She wasn’t as good as Granny at hiding her emotions. It was obvious that she wanted to get away.
    Granny saw it, too. Slowly the anger crept back into her cheeks. Her little eyes widened and there was a soft yellow glow in what should have been their whites. “This is your fault, Mrs. Jinks,” she hissed.
    â€œMine?” Mrs. Jinks was indignant.
    â€œYou’re not bringing the boy up properly. Filling him up with candy and cookies—”
    â€œI did no such thing, Mrs. Kettle.”
    â€œThen why won’t he eat? Why won’t he eat?” Granny gesticulated with a trembling fist. The edge of her wrist caught one of the bowls of cream cheese and it flew off the table, landing with a loud plop in her lap. “Now look what you’ve made me do!” She got up and took two steps back from the table. It was a mistake. She had forgotten the cactus. “Aaaagh!” Granny leaped three feet in the air as she came into contact with the spikes, then collapsed in a heap on the floor. Her dress was covered in cream cheese. Her face was quite purple with anger.
    Joe had never seen anything like it. It was wonderful and terrifying at the same time. What was Granny going to do? Was she going to mutter the magic words that would turn Mrs. Jinks into a spotted toad? Or—more likely—was she merely going to succumb to a massive heart attack?
    In the end, she did neither. She got to her feet, took a deep breath, and shriveled back into an old, defeated woman.
    â€œAll right,” she muttered with a sigh. “Take him home. Leave me here on my own. I don’t mind. I’ll just sit by myself and maybe do some knitting.”
    Granny had never knitted anything in her life. Except, maybe, her brow.
    And so they left. Mrs. Jinks hurried Joe out of the apartment and into the elevator—although, of course, that meant the two of them had to spend another ten minutes standing in awkward silence before they reached the ground. Mrs. Jinks was flushed and looked worried. And she had every reason to be.
    After they had gone, Granny went to the liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of brandy. She pulled the cork out with her teeth (although she very nearly pulled her teeth out with the cork) and took a large swig. Then, feeling better, she went over to the telephone and dialed a number. The phone rang many times before it was answered.
    â€œHello?” came a thin, quavering voice from the other end.
    â€œIs that Mrs. Bucket?”
    â€œYes. This is Elsie Bucket.”
    â€œThis is Ivy Kettle speaking.”
    â€œYes, Ivy, dear. How very nice to hear from you.” But the voice at the other end sounded faintly bored.
    â€œListen!” Granny spat the word into the receiver. “I’ve just had the boy here in my apartment. My grandson…”
    â€œJeremy?” Now the voice was a little more interested.
    â€œHis name’s John! Now listen, Mrs. Bucket. I’ve been thinking about Bideford and I’ve decided. I’m going to bring him along. For you…”
    â€œHow delightful of you, my dear Ivy.” The voice dripped with icy charm.
    â€œThere is just one problem…” Granny went on.
    â€œWhat problem, Ivy?”
    â€œHe’s got a nanny. A wretched spiteful nanny. I think she may get in our way.”
    â€œThen you’ll have to deal with her, my dear. Or do you need help?”
    â€œI don’t need help, thank you, Mrs. Bucket!” Granny scowled and chewed air. A lump of cream cheese slithered off her dress and dripped onto her shoes.