drainpipes.
âTeachers are always busy,â I go, once Iâm back on my feet and dusting down.
âYou think?â
âChances are, theyâll be too stressed with the key stage tests to worry about us. Anyway, whoâs going to remember a small scuffle when Lucy Gilbert has just been knocked up?â
âYouâre funny, dâyou know that, V?â
Jason is so far gone now, heâs grinning like one of those kids whoâs been shot-up with too much Ritalin. I might as well be talking to myself.
9
This is how we have our fun: Friday night, cold and clear. Riding our bikes from Broadhurst to Auriol. A two-mile circuit that takes in the best of our area: video shops, kebab shops, offies, pubs, posh coffee bars, and more old peopleâs hairdressers than there are old people. None of these interest us. Weâve already had a drink, and we donât want to have our hair done. Our rule is that weâll lap and lap until we find someone to have fun with. This will normally be in Auriol, where itâs more densely wooded than Broadhurst, and is less hardcore with the street lighting.
Like fruit pickers, weâre seasonal. Summer is no good for our fun. We work better in the darkness of winter. One kidâs terrifying gloom is another kidâs safety net.
We trawl until we come across a suitable player. If itâs someone from school, great. Someone from the upper years, even better; usually a Year 12 muppet who still hasnât passed their driving test, and is too much of a dork to go out drinking.
Tonight is a night like any other. Itâs seven-thirty. Weâve been on the road for twenty minutes and havenât passed anyone of value. A man with a briefcase whoâs on his way home from the station; an old woman who looks like sheâs heading for the bus stop at the top of Auriol. Neither of them are right.
We can lap four or five times until we find what we are looking for. Weâre pros. Weâre fussy about our playmate. We could go onto the high street, where there is guaranteed to be all-night action, butwe prefer it here, on these streets. Catching people only yards from their houses only adds to the fun. Another bonus point if we can get them under a Neighbourhood Watch sign. There is minimal over-eighteen activity round here after dusk. Adults with any sense know that they need to drive everywhere, even if itâs just down to the Tesco Metro at the bottom of the street for a pint of milk. The muppet kids donât have that luxury, and this is when we strike.
Thereâs no one in our houses to give a shit where we are. Mum is on another block of late shifts, this week itâs been seven out of seven, and Jaseâs mum has gone to her group meeting where she talks to other depressives whoâve lost children and eat too much cake to get over it. Jase says itâs a kind of AA for grievers. Apparently they know everything about each other except their real names. I tell Jase that people have to give a name for everything these days, that they wonât be happy until every aspect of human nature has been labelled or explained; that soon thereâll be a support group for people who still canât come to terms with the end of the Lord of the Rings trilogy or something, but heâs cycled so far ahead I donât know whether he heard me. Racing off and ploughing up the hill that leads into Auriol at the first mention of his mum and her group.
This kind of picking on people comes naturally to us. If I didnât run, and Jase didnât smoke all the time, I guess this could be our second careers.
Jase is on his way back down. Heâs almost flying down the hill, hand off brakes, feet elevated from pedals, but even at those speeds the prospect of take-off isnât pleasing him. I suddenly think that if a car pulled out of one of these side roads any moment now, Jase would go the way of his sister. I feel like the biggest