Got MILF?
uncle’s house.
    Esteban answered. “Hola, Eddie! What does my favorite nephew need?”
    “Oh, uh… nothing, Tio Esteban. I was just wondering if uh, Estella was there?”
    “Estella? No, she’s out with her girlfriends. Why? Do you want to change your driving lesson? I can do that for her.”
    “No, no. I just… never mind, Tio. I’ll try again later.”
    “Is everything all right?”
    I fucked your wife, and drug lords might be using her to make a snuff film as we speak. “Yep. Talk to you later, Tio.
    When I saw Estella’s name appear on my cell phone, I threw the PS4 controller and launched myself over to it.
    “ Are you okay!?” I yelled before she could even say hello.
    “Jesus, Eddie,” she cried, “What’s the matter with you?”
    “Has anyone been to your house? Or made scary calls? Or threatened you somehow?”
    “Calm down, kid,” she insisted. “I’m fine; nobody’s done anything to me.”
    I could feel my blood pressure return to a normal, less stroke-y level. My mouth was so dry I couldn’t speak, so I just breathed awkwardly into my phone until Estella did me the courtesy of continuing the conversation. “I’ve been worried too. But honestly, it was dark, and we didn’t have the headlights on. There was a good chance nobody there knew who we were. Well, except Rolando.”
    My heartrate went into overdrive again. “R-Rolando?”
    “Yeah. He paid me a visit last night. Said he recognized the car, and then took it—”
    “Estella, shut up for a minute! You just said Rolando knows it was us that mowed that guy down?”
    There was a moment of terse silence. “What did you just say to me?”
    “S-sorry. But don’t you know what this means? We’re not safe, not even close! That fat-ass is going to bring his boys down on us for this!”
    “Um, were we in the same car? Didn’t you see what was about to go down that night?”
    I thought back for a moment. “Honestly, it was all kind of a blur. Up until, well, you know.”
    She chuckled. “Rolando was about to get capped, dummy. We saved that fat-ass’s ass, in case you didn’t realize.”
    I wasn’t placated. I knew this would only spell shit for me, one way or another. The sickening feeling that some invisible wall was slowly closing in on me wouldn’t go away. Estella’s revelation did little to ease my anxiety.
    “Look Eddie, maybe you should get some rest. I’ll bet you’ve barely slept a wink since that night.”
    I remained silent, not really knowing what to say or even where to go with my life from there. I suddenly had a very powerful notion to drop the phone, pack my shit up, and escape to Canada. Anything to get the tennis ball-sized knots out of my stomach.
    “Or would you rather I go over there and help you relax?” Estella suggested with a sly cadence to her voice.
    Canada suddenly didn’t seem so appealing.
    “Uh, you could do that…” I began.
    She laughed at me from the other end. “What would your mother think hearing those kinds of noises coming from her angel’s bedroom?”
    “We’re going to do it in Isabella’s room?”
    That sent her into roaring laughter. “You’re so gross! But more clever than I give you credit for.”
    I was suddenly rock-hard, and found that some of the knots in my gut had started loosening up. “So… does that mean you won’t swing by to get me off?”
    I could hear the smirk in her reply. “I’m sure you have no problem getting yourself off.”
    “Yeah but… it’s nicer when I get a hand. From someone special.”
    “Aw, look at you, mister sweet talker. Well, I’ve actually got to start getting dinner ready for your uncle but…” she went quiet for a moment. “Hold up a second.” I heard her wander around for a few seconds before asking: “You still there?”
    Like I’m going anywhere. “Yep.”
    “Are you hard?”
    “…Yes.”
    “Well, get him out for me, grab some lotion, and start stroking.” She didn’t have to tell me twice. “And put
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