Got It Going On Read Online Free PDF Page B

different. I felt that even though Sam and I were disconnected, if I reflected back, she had prayed for me. Maybe just like the character on stage, God had given me another chance. I tried not to get emotional, but as Isha had verbalized, a fine young pastor—in his early twenties and about six feet with a nice frame—started talking.
    â€œDid you see that broken young lady? Did you witness a true miracle of the Lord? This young lady gave herself to God, and He forgave her sins.”
    I just fell to my knees; I felt too different. His words had touched me enough to give me hope. My mom wasn’t there to love me, and I had never known my dad. There were some things in my past that had hurt me so bad I had blocked them out. And to be so young and go through so much, I guess I had just never thought God was real. In my darkest hour, God had seen me through.
    â€œIs there anybody out there who wants to be renewed?” Pastor Konner Black preached. “Or wants to be healed? Come on down right now and let the Lord give you reason to go on and a reason to wake up tomorrow.”
    I rose to my feet and made my way down the aisle to the altar with a heavy heart. I finally understood that though I couldn’t see a God up there, He was present. And only in Him could I be fulfilled and truly have purpose.

4
    BARRIER
    â€œI ’m tired of us walking around not speaking to each other,” Sam said to me when I was studying for a test. “The tension is weighing me down, Cass.”
    Angrily, I threw down my pen, stopped doing my homework, and said, “That’s your choice. I’ve never changed. I’ve been the same way with you. You got with your little friends and decided I wasn’t worthy of your time. The problem is you never took into account that we had something tight. They might not like my style, they might think I’m a little too wild, but you know everything I’ve been through. Particularly lately, Samantha. And I guess I just never thought you’d throw all that away just to please girls who are so fickle. Watch yourself, or they’ll be throwing you to the curb.”
    â€œWill we ever be able to get past it?” she asked me with eyes that held mine.
    I knew she used to be sincere. Honestly now, though, I didn’t know if she was just coming to me because, out of all of us who had attended rush last week, I was the only one who really knew my stuff. Now that the Betas didn’t deem me as having the party-girl mentality, she wanted to be attached to me. It just seemed too coincidental, too fake, and too phony. I wasn’t going to fall for it and then have her dump me when her crew decided to tell her to again.
    I grabbed my books, shook my head, went to my room, and shut the door. However, I instantly felt uneasy about being too blunt. I really felt my heart weighing on me like I had a conscience, which was new for me because this whole Christianity thing was still in its infancy stage, as far as I was concerned. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings and not take her word. If God could forgive me for all my crazy ways, I was supposed to be able to do the same. I was only human, but I had capacity to forgive. How could God be pleased with my sorry actions?
    So I dropped to my knees and prayed, “Lord, all this is new for me. I’m sorry I’m not as sweet as I need to be. Help me, but right now I just can’t trust her.”
    Â 
    â€œThere were two letters in the mail!” Sam rushed up and said five days after we’d turned in our sorority packets and had our interviews.
    I didn’t know Beta Gamma Pi protocol, so whether the letters meant something good, something bad, or could go either way, I had no idea. I mean, they’d never told us we were getting a phone call. Since rush, after we’d met their adviser who had told us to come to her with any drama, the Betas had actually been trying to keep as much distance as