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at once. “I did not realize you . . . realized.” A pause, as two minor countesses minced by, eyeing them curiously. Once they were out of earshot, she asked, “When did this happen?”
    Edgiva shook her head. “Suddenly. These past few days. From the moment I arrived and saw him. The last time our paths crossed, when he came to the abbey to receive a Bible from my nuns a month ago, there was no such attraction. I cannot fathom the reason for the change.”
    â€œHas anything happened between you?” Godiva asked hopefully.
    The abbess glared and made a gesture to Godiva to speak softer. “Of course not!” she whispered. “I would not allow it.”
    â€œHas he tried?”
    Edgiva raised her hands to cover her face and took a deep, unsteady breath. “I do not understand why God is testing me this way,” she said in her low voice.
    â€œSo he has tried. What has he done? Edey, tell me what he’s done, and I’ll tell you what it means.”
    She lowered her hands and frowned at Godiva. “There are no acts . There is nothing in particular worth description.”
    She glanced uncomfortably about at the bustle around them: servants running in and out of the gate, a groom adjusting a horse’s saddle as the rider waited huffing, a creaky wagon full of food being inspected by the porter while thanes and their wives skirted small piles of manure to get out of the yard. A small clutch of priests were debating something boring in low rumbling tones nearby; Edgiva looked especially wary of their proximity.
    â€œThere are only looks,” she whispered, “and . . . gestures . . . and moving his body nearer to mine than is required, and . . .” She was flustered. “He offers to help me with things, mad things a nobleman would never help an abbess with—would you like company while you are praying, do you keep incense burning in your tent, and do you need me to help you light it—”
    Godiva giggled.
    â€œAnd I so desire to say yes! It terrifies me. It is an alien and heinous thing.”
    â€œIt is natural and only right!” Godiva countered. “The world must be peopled—”
    â€œBut not by me, ” Edgiva said fiercely.
    â€œPerhaps you are mistaken about that.”
    The abbess glanced nervously at the religious men again. “I took holy vows—”
    â€œEdey, you were raised in that abbey,” said Godiva, with impatient affection. “It is the only home you’ve known. Nobody ever asked you if you felt a calling; from the moment you arrived on English soil, barely out of swaddling clothes, it was understood that Queen Emma’s granddaughter Edgiva would be the next Abbess of Leominster. You were never given a choice.”
    â€œWhoever is?” Edgiva argued. “You were not asked if you would like to marry and—”
    â€œIt is my choice to stay married,” Godiva argued back. “Leofric and I could each divorce the other if we so chose. Our vows to each other were no less holy than yours were to the Church, but if either of us decides it is folly to remain together, we have the right to untie our knot. You should have the same right. The Church can toss you out if you displease her; why cannot you toss out the Church?”
    Edgiva huffed with an anxious exasperation. “Because I’ve no wish to. This is mad. Even for you, this is mad. You haven’t ever fathomed my devotion, which is very deep and very real, even if I chafe sometimes at the constrictions of its outer forms. Just because I am tempted to sin does not mean I have lost my calling. Indeed, I become more aware of my vocation because of it.”
    â€œWell of course you do, since your vocation is the only thing that makes your desire a sin,” Godiva said reasonably.
    â€œThat is mere rhetoric, and faulty rhetoric at that,” Edgiva said. She began to walk off, as if toward