Girl Trouble Read Online Free PDF Page B

it’s a clever solution to a unique problem. I think you’re a fucking genius.”
    Bonita’s heart clenched at the bitterness in Kat’s black eyes. “That’s not fair.”
    Kat took a long drink of wine. “Fair? Three years, Bonita. You haven’t even talked to me for three years, and you’ve done God knows what with other women while I’ve been playing the unsatisfying role of America’s hetero pin-up girl. Are you surprised I’m angry?”
    Bonita slowly shook her head. “If it makes you feel any better, it stopped working. I thought BDSM was the solution to living without you…when I’m with a good Domme I can feel a whisper of what I feel with you, but I need you .” Bonita trailed off, staring into her wineglass. Yes, she’d had gotten very close to success when she had discovered BDSM, but not close enough. Kat was irreplaceable. Her dominance was natural, intrinsic, perfectly mastering Bonita’s submissive soul, and Bonita ached to please her.
    She jumped when Kat struck, leaning forward and grasping the knot of her still-wet hair, pulling her head back. She stared up into Kat’s glittering black eyes, stunned by the hunger she saw in their depths. Kat’s hand tightened painfully in her hair. “You’re looking for a yearly fling, huh? A quick hookup to take the edge off so you can go hide again, bury yourself in bumfuck New York, and pretend you don’t need me again?”
    Her breath was strained, and it was hard to speak past the lump in her throat. “You’re too famous now. You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and I won’t ruin it. I just need a fix. I’ll stay as long as I can, and then, yes, I’ll go back to Norton. Your career will be safe. No one will know.”
    “Is that what you think I care about? My career?”
    “Don’t you?”
    “Not half as much as you do anymore.”
    Bonita couldn’t categorize the expression that flashed across Kat’s face, but it made her heart stutter and pound. “I want it to be like it used to be.”
    “You mean when I came running every time you called me?” Kat’s voice was savage.
    “You left me every time, too, you know,” Bonita said softly, matter-of-factly.
    They were talking about more than the past few years now. Their conversation had shifted to a specific moment. The afternoon Kat had left Norton for Hollywood. That choice had shaped their lives. At the time it had seemed necessary, logical, an ordinary milestone of growing up. It was only in retrospect that it took on so much significance.
    “I’m not blaming you,” Bonita said. “You needed to start your career. I would never have held you back.”
    “Hold me back? You pushed me to go.”
    “You wanted to leave,” Bonita countered.
    “You sent me away.”
    “I just gave you permission. You were dying to get out of Norton. Who could blame you? You were headed for Hollywood, your big break, movies, money. Look at you now—you’re a mega-star. You never would have been able to accomplish all that with me by your side.”
    “Yeah, America’s Come-Hither Queen can’t like girls. I get it. We did this whole scene three years ago. And the year before that. And the year before that. God, I’m so sick of this shit.” The rancor in Kat’s voice made Bonita stand up and take a seat next to Kat on the couch. Kat turned her face away.
    Stubborn, strong, hurt Kat.
    “I’m right,” Bonita reminded her.
    The truth brought Kat’s gaze to hers, and Bonita was transfixed by the guilt she saw, the pain and pride. Bonita knew Kat was manipulating her again. Her sensitivity to Kat’s emotions was predictable and powerful, one more reason Bonita held Kat at bay. Kat could put everything she was feeling into her eyes and make Bonita feel it, too. Not only her, half of America, Bonita reminded herself. She might need Kat, but Kat didn’t need her, as she had proved so clearly over the years.
    “So you say,” Kat said. “You always send me away so fast we never really get a chance to