Girl, Serpent, Thorn Read Online Free PDF Page B

found out,” Ramin continued, “you’re the last person I would allow to see the div, given what you are.”
    Soraya lifted her head, baring the deadly skin of her throat. “And what am I, Ramin?” She stepped toward him, the space between them so small now that one of them would have to retreat.
    But Ramin didn’t back away or even flinch, still unwilling to admit that she was more dangerous than he was. Soraya wondered what would happen if she reached up now and let her bare hand hover over his face—would he finally drop his stoic pose and surrender to her?
    Her hand started to lift of its own accord, and a thought came unbidden to her mind: If Ramin dies, Sorush and Laleh would have to delay the wedding .
    As quickly as the thought had come, another soon followed—a memory of Laleh’s face, an expression burned into Soraya’s mind since childhood. That same year she had first met Laleh, Soraya had convinced herself that the div had lied about her, or that the curse had worn off. She wanted to test her theory, and so one spring morning, she and Laleh had waited by the window until a butterfly landed on the sill, orange wings opening and closing. Soraya had reached out and gently brushed one fingertip along its black-edged wing. It was the first living creature she remembered touching. It was also the first living creature she remembered killing, its wings twitching once, twice, before stopping entirely.
    But it wasn’t the butterfly she remembered most vividly. It was the look of devastation on Laleh’s face, her eyes watering, her lips pressed together as she tried not to cry. And Soraya understood that she had made Laleh sad by wanting something she couldn’t have.
    Soraya backed away from Ramin, realizing what she had almostdone—to him, to Laleh, to herself—and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist, a familiar gesture of surrender. Her hands were shaking—and she couldn’t help thinking that they were disappointed, cheated of their prize. But no, she didn’t want Ramin dead. She didn’t want to kill him or anyone else. She took no pride or satisfaction in her curse—she hated being dangerous, and hated the div that had made her this way. That was the only way she could be sure she was different from the monster in her dreams.
    â€œSoraya?” Ramin moved toward her.
    â€œLeave me alone,” Soraya snapped, careful to keep her voice low. You should be the one cowering away, she wanted to say. But she couldn’t speak in anger now. Anger needed a release. Soraya’s arms tightened around her waist, her shoulders hunching over. Anger and shame fought for control within her, and so she forced her body into the position of shame, because it was safer. “Never mind,” she said. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
    With her head bowed, she couldn’t see his face, but she heard him give an irritated sigh. “You’re right about that. Besides, only the shah can decide who is permitted to see the div, so go back to your room and forget all about it.”
    She ignored the flash of anger at his dismissal and turned away from him, hurrying back to the golestan, to the walls that stopped her from wanting what she could not have.

 
4
    Soraya rose and dressed on the morning of Nog Roz, the first day of the new year, with a sense of purpose.
    On a day like this, Soraya would normally take extra care not to leave her room. Today, the palace opened its gates to everyone, the palace gardens teeming with people from all parts of society—including the shah himself. Though he would spend a portion of the day in the audience hall accepting gifts and offerings, he was also free to celebrate among the crowd.
    But all night long, Ramin’s parting words kept returning to her: Only the shah can decide who is permitted to see the div.
    Catching the shah alone was difficult. He was often surrounded by guards, and