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inside.

CHAPTER 5
    ‘‘SETH . . .’’ INSTINCTIVELY OLIVIA WANTED to go with them. In the face of this calamity, the years of separation vanished as though they had never been. Seth glanced back at her, his face hard and un-welcoming.
    ‘‘Stay here,’’ he said shortly. Then he was inside the ambulance and the door closed in her face. Olivia recoiled inside. As clearly as if he had said the words, Seth’s tone told her that she had no right to a place at Big John’s side. No longer was she to be considered one of the family. How could she complain, though? She’d abdicated her place herself.
    ‘‘Oh, my God, Olivia.’’ A hand curled around her arm above her elbow as the ambulance jolted away. Olivia glanced up to discover another familiar face.
    ‘‘Aunt Callie,’’ she said in what was almost a sob, as Seth’s mother wrapped her in a warm embrace. Sara was still pressed close against her side and Olivia put one arm around her daughter’s shoulders, holding her close, enfolding her in the hug. Callie had lost a great deal of weight, Olivia discovered, so that the once-sturdy woman felt almost fragile in her arms. Callie’s hair was short now, framing her narrow face in spiky wisps, and the former brunette had gone completely gray. There were dark circles around her eyes, and her face was deeply lined. But the eyes, which were the same deep blue as Seth’s, were unchanged.
    In her invitation to Olivia to come home for a visit, she’d written that she was ill.
    ‘‘I’m glad you came, Olivia. Thank you.’’ Although she was clearly upset, Callie managed a shaky smile for Olivia as they separated. ‘‘Oh, my goodness, forgive me, but I’ve got to go to the hospital right away. Do you know what happened to Big John?’’
    ‘‘He had a heart attack, I think. At least, that’s what Uncle Charlie said. He was standing on the gazebo steps and he just clutched his chest and keeled over. It was my fault. I’m almost sure—he thought I was my mother.’’ Guilt and pain and shock had rendered Olivia almost numb. She knew what had happened, but at the moment she could not really feel it.
    ‘‘Oh, my goodness,’’ Callie said again helplessly. Her lips trembled. She took a deep breath, seemed to struggle to get hold of herself, and caught Olivia’s hand, squeezing it. ‘‘Don’t blame yourself, dear. Please. You and’’—she glanced down at Sara, who was looking up at her with huge, frightened eyes from the protection of Olivia’s skirt—‘‘your daughter are very welcome. What happened surely wasn’t your fault. Big John hasn’t been well for some time, and he’s been—a little unclear in his mind.’’ She looked desperately around. ‘‘Oh, my, oh, my. I have to get to the hospital. Where is that car?’’
    ‘‘This is Sara.’’ Olivia’s arm was still around Sara’s shoulders as she identified her daughter by name. It was clear from Callie’s hesitation that she couldn’t immediately call it to mind. Given the awful circumstances, though, that wasn’t too surprising. Olivia herself felt as if her brain had ceased to function properly. Images of Big John as he had looked lying so still and gray on the grass filled her mind almost to the exclusion of all else.
    ‘‘Please, let’s head toward the house.’’ With murmured acknowledgments and waves for other guests who came up to pat her consolingly or called out to her, Callie herded them forward with little shooing gestures. After a few moments and a few deep breaths, she managed a smile for Sara. ‘‘Hello, Sara. I’m your aunt Callie.’’
    Sara said nothing, just nodded her head and peeped at Callie from Olivia’s other side. With an arm still around her shoulders, Olivia hugged her a little closer. Sara would be overwhelmed by this crisis involving strangers and her mother’s obvious emotion, and silence was the way she generally reacted. Not that Olivia blamed her: She was overwhelmed